I Kid You Not!

This is a picture of a map I saw in Kangwondo. Apparently, there's a cafe called "The Bicycle Thief" there. Thoughts?

Monsters at Fiamma.

Saturday night.. It was drizzling a little, and the ground was perpetually wet from the rain (god I hate June). Like most days, Makati remained a swirl of nightlife with the traffic at crawl, and the streets filled with pedestrians and parked cars. At half past 10, the night was very much a pup for so many people there.

I met 3 of my closest girlfriends at Fiamma for a night of boozing and catching up. I'm scheduled to leave for Korea very soon so the meeting also served as some sort of a 'despedida' for me. I've never been to Fiamma before, I just heard a few things from my friends who frequent the place (heard that the place is brimming with super-hot guys, not that I care). I didn't know that it's a bit isolated, and we had to do a little bit of walking. I made an extra effort to dress up. By this I mean a flowy skirt, a satiny-lacy pink top (which is too girly for everyone's standard), and an ill-fitting but sexy stilletos.

We arrived early so we got one of the best tables in the house. A little after midnight, our tables were filled with endless stream of booze, cigarettes, finger foods, and scandalously-named cocktails. By this time, the club turned smoky and sweltering, packed wall-to-wall with hot and sweaty people, mostly in their twenties. The DJ played a lot of house music which I liked very much...

When the crowd got unbearably rowdy, and my feet was all bloody and screaming for band-aid, we decided to go. We drove aimlessly for sometime to chat inside the car till someone got thirsty, and we headed to Ministop. One went out to buy a few things. I had snapple and a donut, friend A and B had ice cream, and C ate one large siopao. When C accidentally scratched her eyes and lost one of her colored contacts (it aint disposable), she checked herself in the mirror and laughed how unbelievably strange she looks. We each went through our bags in search for mirrors, only to find we all looked ridiculously messed up. I looked raccoon-ish with my mascara clumped and smeared. Friend A still had lipstick on her teeth even after ice cream. Friend B who had her curly hair ironed out earlier turned afro-ish with hair frizzy as hell. Well C, she wore gray contacts and losing one meant she looked straight out of a horror movie!

Friend A pulled us out of the car to take pictures of our freaky faces. You could imagine how scary the picture turned out to be, and there's no way I'm gonna post that here for all the world to see. In the midst of deafening laughs, we all agreed that we now have something that'll bond us forever, and something that we could use to blackmail each other if anyone of us gets famous!

Forgetful Chris...

This is an excerpt from our interesting conversation last night.


Chris: My head hurts...

Me: Of course, you've been playing Starcarft for more than 3 hours now. Take a rest.

Chris: Ah! What do you call this in English? This... (motioning something and making weird faces). I forgot the word.. Come on, I'm sure you know it.

Me: My head doesn't work that way. I need details..

Chris: They look like this and they do this (again, making those weird moves and faces). Don't you know...?

Me: I don't know what you're talking about.

Chris: A-b-o... Don't you know? Give me a word.

Me: Abolish? Abode? Aboard? What??? Is it a verb or a noun?

Chris: No, I forgot. Wait, I have a picture somewhere. I saw them in Canada.




Chris: A-b-o....

Me: A-b-o-r-i-g-i-n-e?

Chris: Yeah, right! Good call.

Me: Why did you suddenly ask?

Chris: Huh?! Ah... I forgot already (going back to playing Starcraft).

Me: You know what? You seriously need help.



*******

Smart a** answers

Everyone needs a good dose of humor... here's mine.

Smart Ass Answer ..5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed at her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart Ass Answer ..4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Ass Answer ..3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart Ass Answer ..2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Artsy-partsy

Aren't this poodle adorable? I like how trendy and fashionable poodles are these days. They come in all shapes and sizes donning multi-colored fur.

We once had poodles we named Summer and Winter. But they got sick so we had to give them away to a family friend. I haven't seen them since then. I surely miss those two cuddly poodles! I'm hoping one of these days I'd get to take care of pet dog again, but our apartment owner doesn't allow pets inside the building. Bummer, I know....

Spacial Mask

I got this mask for free when I bought some make-up. I like getting freebies whenever I make a purchase. But notice how it says 'SPACIAL LINE' ??? The dictionary defines spacial as ~relating to, involving, or having the nature of space. Uhm... ok, spacial na kung spacial.

"No dump garbage. Take back please!!!"

No dump garbage. Take back please!!!"

MISSPELLED

I took this random pic on my way home, one Saturday afternoon. If you'll look closely, it says "Korean Well-bing and Tea Set". Now, how does that suppose to mean? Funny as hell... :)

A guard in China Airport

This photo was taken at the entrance of an airport in China (forgot which one!). The guy in soldier suit that stands in front doesn't move at all except when blinking! He stands still for long periods of time. Amazing isn't?! Like a living statue...

Granny

This Granny surely freaks the hell out of me... Just where does she keep her intestines? "Like sands through the hourglass, so are her internal organs..."

T.he Contortionist

Just how much was she paid to do this??? And how the hell did she discover that she has this kind of talent, I wanna know?

The Mechanical Contrivium: Emma

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Emma!

The difference between Emma and a village is that Emma does not have a church!

Emmaolatry is the mindless worship of Emma.

A Emmaometer is used to measure Emma.

Donald Duck's middle name is Emma.

There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat Emma, though it may feel uncomfortable.

The eye of an ostrich is bigger than Emma!

The only planet that rotates on its side is Emma.

Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than Emma!

The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr Emma Head.

Emma will become gaseous if her temperature rises above -42°C.