The World Is As Perfect As You Make It.

I've heard the term "be comfortable in your own skin" many times over in my life (we all do), but no matter how much conviction I put every time I say those words, I still can't get past my innumerable body issues and weight drama. For four years, I've shared a love-hate relationship with my body. There are times when I appreciate my curves, and there are times when I get enveloped in a lot of depressing body drama. Sometimes I can't help but think that things seemed much simpler when we were younger and living a life of simple ideals. It's so easy back then - weight and calories are basically the farthest thing in our heads. In a perfect world, weight should be a non-issue, and there shouldn't be a skinny standard that exist alongside the premises of love, honesty and respect. But the real world sucks and sadly it's far from perfect.

Before, I blamed my being overweight from a myriad of excuses. But simple logic brought me to the conclusion that it's just me being lazy and complacent. I did try to lose the extra weight, but I keep gaining it back. Probably because as soon as I see results, I grow complacent again. But everything changed after I visited the doctor a few months ago. I went through what I call a 'health scare' and it shook me to the core. My health was a mess, my hormones were all shooting in the wrong direction, and I feel things I shouldn't be feeling. I knew I had to do something before it's too late. So I started hitting the gym again, this time with utmost determination, not just to aesthetically look more pleasing but to heal myself. I had to work doubly hard to efficiently burn calories as my metabolism seems to be a wack compared to a normal person's. And as per doctor's order, I veered away from meat, sweets and oily foods. I changed my routine, even my sleeping habits, refrained from eating out and drinking alcohol. I was struggling with the new lifestyle at first, but it's hell of fun discovering what good it does to your skin and the amount of money you could save. The only thing I didn't do is starve myself. I still eat as much as I want, only this time, I surround myself with healthier choices. And because I'm taking a lot of pills, my stomach can't be empty so I eat every two hours.

Just before the Holy Week started, I visited the doctor for check up and my blood work showed amazing results! My AST levels have normalized and I can now eat meat. How great is that?! But instead of celebrating at a meat restaurant, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. Yeah I know, it's weird, but as shameful as it sounds, I had difficulty shopping before because I could hardly fit in a normal store's sizes. But now it's different, and it's such a liberating thing to buy one that actually fits without going through the humiliating "do-you-have-a-bigger-size-than-this?" talk with the saleslady.

In today's skinny standards, I still have A LONG WAY TO GO, but overall I'm proud to say I'm healthier, fitter and stronger. Those three words make me happy, plus the fact that I can now run without getting so winded that my lungs want to burst.

Have a great weekend y'all!