The L word

How can we decipher whether it's love or just another feeling? Sometimes it can be difficult to be sure it’s love.

You can be the best of friends and you probably laugh with him more than anyone else. The feelings of anticipation, passion, and connection are mutual. You remember little things like his favorite foods, the places he wants to visit and why. Even his views on everything from politics to fashion but is it enough to say it's the big L word?

Things he would do:

Put you on his “A” list (pay attention -- You'll know if you're not on it)
Introduce you to his family
Make plans for the future (near and far)
Do things outside of his “box” with you
Share his secrets and his dreams for the future with you
Worry about impressing your friends
Come right over when you ask him to
Try to do things that comfort you or relieve some of your stress (like surprise you with dinner on a night you are working, rub your feet, or ask about your day)
Appreciate and reciprocate your feelings and your actions like giving you a massage after he gets one from you, doing the dishes after dinner, or sending you a gift
Things she would do:

Share her embarrassing moments and fantasies with you
Little things all throughout the day that let you know she’s thinking about you
Fantasize about her life with you, getting married, having kids, growing old, traveling the world, etc.
Tease you
Hang out with your mother or talk to her on the phone
Appreciate and reciprocate your feelings and your actions, like offering to pay for dinner, getting tickets to a game or event she knows you’ll love, or cooking for you
Ask questions about your life -- past, present, and future
Flirt with you


How you will feel:

Excited, yet relaxed
Vulnerable, yet strong
Comfortable enough to be yourself in front of him/her
Like you want to include them in everything (but you won't desert your usual crowd to be in a relationship)
You’ll miss him or her when he or she's not around
You can’t wait to see them, talk to them, play with them, and kiss them
You’ll find yourself wanting to make plans to have him/her all to yourself


Signs that it's not the L word:

He/she blows you off or cancel dates
Talking about commitment makes either of you uneasy or nervous
Either of you are seeing other people
Things are moving too quickly for one of you
You find your partner lacking when compared to other people
You watch a love scene in a movie or hear a love song and you feel a strong longing or desire for what you don’t have
A guideline like this sure is helpful for a person like me who is clueless to just about anything when it comes to love. I know there are others like me out there.