In A Blue Funk.

May had been a splendid month filled with kick ass adventures. And as much as I want to write about it, I couldn't. I'm feeling downright depressed lately, and words about merrymaking and blithesome adventures are just the most awkward things to say right now. But before you guys put me on your suicide watch list, let me say that the reason for all this drama is fairly simple (and manageable I suppose). I gained some effin weight, and contrary to what I thought before, it isn't just PMS. It's real poundage from lack of exercise, reckless eating and bad choices of food.

When I weighed myself last night, I almost died when it read 60 (point something) kilos. Ok, I'm not gonna say what the 'point something' is as I intend to keep my dignity intact. Before I came here (roughly about 2 months ago), I weighed 58 kgs. Still pretty heavy as it is, but do you guys know I was 70 kgs before I started working out like crazy? People at the gym back home called me their '3-month success story', but it isn't the case anymore is it? It took a lot of effort to lose that much weight, so there's no way in hell I'm gonna let myself go again... After all, something HUGE is going to happen next year, and I intend to be in tip top share before the time comes.

Today, I enrolled in a gym and I'm absolutely determined to put that 80,000 won fee to good use. The guy who manages the gym is a bit creepy. He's nice and all, but I can't get over the fact that he asked me where I'm going to take a shower thrice today. Thrice ladies and gentlemen, and it sure as hell warrants the word creepy. After 2 grueling hours of strenuous exercise, I understood why. People there don't shower after working out. I was the only one to hit the shower, and it was only then that Mr. Creepy turned the water heater on. I'm not going to discuss this further, so let's all file this under "Water Conservation To Help The Environment", shall we?

Anyway, I'm utterly disappointed with my performance today at the gym. It's as though my muscles turned impotent at the sight of their machines. They are not really intimidating (I've seen more wicked ones at Fitness First back home), but somehow, I can't do the things I normally did before. I can't run and lift weights like I used to. My stamina is pretty low, and on top of that, I heard some weird cracking noise on my joint today. I haven't even even reached 30 yet, and my joints are already failing me... But cracking joints or not, I'm gonna do my effin best to reach my ideal weight of 50 kgs flat ~ with no point whatsoever!

Bespectacled!

It was Children's Day here yesterday - a well-celebrated holiday in Korea where parents dutifully take their kids out to have some fun. I planned to spend it at home enjoying some good, home-cooked meals, but Chris saw it as an opportunity to drag me to get my eyes checked. This check-up has long been overdue. For the longest time, I've been having problems with my sight. Sometimes I miss my stop because I can't see the places clearly, especially at night. Watching movies has also been a problem for me. When we watched "Iron Man 2" the other night, we were seated at the far end and I couldn't keep tabs of what was happening. I know I need to wear glasses to make my life easier, but I always thought it's gonna make me look old and ugly - the deadliest combo a girl could ever be subjected to. So like a pig refusing to be slaughtered, I begged, sobbed, gobbled and gave him a hundred different reasons not to bring me there. But then he started the whole 'be-logical-you-need-it' talk, I just had to give in.

So there we were at the optical shop and a doctor came to check my eyes. The first thing he asked is if I could understand Korean. I told him "a little", so he was forced to talk in broken English. Upon hearing his excruciatingly-hard-to-understand English, two guys came to assist him. They were younger and probably armed with more vocabulary than him. The older guy motioned me to position my face close to the machine, which I did. One of his assistants said "put your 'fit' here and 'close' your forehead.." Of course he was pertaining to my chin and my forehead should be close to the machine. They must have felt there's something wrong with the way they talked, so the next couple of exchanges were fairly simple. It went like this: "first time?", "dizzy?", "not dizzy?", "clear?", "unclear?" - all answerable by a simple yes or no. Chris should have acted as the interpreter but he was busy with the parking. When he came back and spoke to them, they all came to agreement that I really need to wear glasses. So we were led downstairs to choose the frame. There are frames in all shapes, sizes and colors and it was so damn hard to choose! The assistant must be fuming mad while waiting for me...^^ Among hundreds, I narrowed my choices down to three. * I know you guys are sick of seeing my face plastered on every post, but please keep your cool while staring at my photos stippled with a huge rash on the neck ok? (I had an allergic reaction from eating large amounts of seafood before this..)

So this was my first choice. The first time I wore it, I fell in love with it! Chris didn't like it. He kept on giving me unsolicited grandfather-ly advice that it looks too big on my face and that the black rim and plaid prints are too strong for my 'delicate' features (delicate daw oh..lols), so I had to give it up. Please don't tell me this one suits me better than the rest, I'm literally going to kill myself for not getting it!




This was my second choice. I love the funky neon pink and purple combo. I think I could pull this one off. I can imagine myself wearing it in pop concerts, shopping malls or doing household chores looking all cute and fabulous. However, Chris can't imagine me wearing it with a dress, so I had to give it up also.





And this frame was my third and last choice. It's the simplest, most basic of them all. Grandfather Chris loves the burgundy shade, he thinks it accentuates my light brown eyes. The assistant (who is awfully cute by the way) said it suits my face. So two votes against mine, there was no other choice but to get it.



It's a big, big move for me. From here on, I'm a different person - a bespectacled one, and I'm not sure if this new persona will suit me. So let me know what you guys think. Does it make me look smart? studious? or worse, old and ugly? But damn, if that's the case, I'm better off with a blurred vision for the rest of my life!

Tale of the Snoop.

I have not been spared of the slings and arrows of 'friendship-gone-sour', and this is making me feel really depressed. To make the matter worse, wranglings with this certain "frienemy" opened more cans of worms which alluded to even more problems and bigger implications. This backstabbing, only-a-mother-could-love gossipmonger loves to fabricate stuff in her free time, and be a pain in everyone's ass. I hate to be affected this much, but because of her, everything that I do now feels unremittingly tedious and difficult. I'm actually toying with the idea of sending her a shirt that says "I'm the biggest bitch there is", and it comes with a bag of chopped up pig's tongue. But knowing how much of a sleaze and barely literate person that she is, she's probably gonna wear that shirt loud and proud. I don't know what she's gonna do with the pig's tongue though.

She annoys me to the hilt, and I couldn't stop thinking about all the harrowing and vile things I wish I had said to her. This is the kind of person who does not deserve an ounce of respect. I'm so done with her pretenses and backstabbing innuendos. It's my fervent wish that she would just vanish, the world would be better off without her anyway. I'm generally a nice person, but this b*tch used up my 10 year supply of patience, making me the exact opposite of my old, modern-day-Pollyana' self...

Thinking Out Loud.

Have you ever had one of those mundane mornings and you find yourself on Facebook, stupidly ogling at pictures and reading statuses of your so-called 'friends'. You don't know what has gotten into your head, but your fingers started typing the name of a person you knew long ago, hoping to find some juicy details of how his life turned out to be. The thing is, this isn't your long lost friend, and not a person you knew from school or work, but an 'ex' whose memories you tried to push to the deepest, darkest pit of your temporal lobe. Your reason tells you not to click that search button, but you did anyway as silly curiosity got the best of you. And there it was, a tiny profile pic the size of your thumb glaring in front of you, and all the bitter memories came back like a tidal wave, swallowing and hurting you beyond comprehension, and you wish to hell that there is such thing as "undo" in real life...

Inner-freak.

The rising cases of people inflicted with H1N1 virus prompted me to seek medical attention for my 3 day old flu, and I was given a flu shot today along with vitamin prescription. With the rain steadily pouring since Saturday evening, I couldn't get out of the house, so there's a good chance that I got it from Rose, our new household help who arrived last Monday with a bit of fever. I hate getting sick, so I admit that I'm a freak with regards to cleanliness.. I'm a certifed germophobic, and I take cleanliness seriously around the house. If you're gonna see me clean my room, you're in for a freak show. I never use broom cause it carries those grimy stuff in incalculable proportions, and I don't want any of that near my room or our house. I scolded Rose quite a few times before when she tried to clean my room. I can't really blame her, brooms and that thing you use to gather dirt are staple in every Filipino household (and we do have that at home), but for some reason, those two send tingles to my spine, and weird as it may sound, I refuse to even touch it. I'd rather go down and scrub the floor with a mixture of soap and bleach, and then rinse it multiple times with water. And to check if it's really clean, I wet tissues with alcohol and wipe the floor with it. I'm even fond of using Lysol spray that supposedly kills 99% of bacteria. And if I can afford it, I'm going to buy that UV sterilizer (like the ones you see at restaurants in Korea), and God knows I'm going to put everything in there.


I understand that this is is some sort of a freakish behavior which I'm not really proud of, in fact, I had been chastised for it. But I can't really help it cause one, I'm an O.C. ( and it's in my nature to keep everything ridiculously clean, tidy, and organized ^^), and two, I have considerably weaker immune system than others (if someone has flu, I'm the first person to get it), so it's imperative that I take the necessary precautions. I believe everyone has their own freak side, compulsion, or weird behavior, and most often than not, we prefer if it stay hidden. My parents are two very organized people who are fond of using antibacterial cleaning agents, filing cabinets (meant for offices not homes), alphabetically arranged books, and labelling things with expiration dates, so it's but natural to produce an offspring who share the same compulsion.


Chris is somewhat similar to me in that department, although I'd say he's much worse. He hates using public restrooms (unless it's absolutely, 'matter-of-life-and-death' necessary), jimjilbang, and bath houses. He cringes at touching doorknobs and faucets so he uses paper towels to insulate his hand. I heard it's a lot worse when he was younger, but going to military helped desensitize him, so he's not as much of a freak like he was back then. But I know that he still hates handshakes, and I'm pretty sure he prefers to bow a couple of times to greet people than get his hand in contact with others. He just doesn't have a choice for his job calls for endless handshakes from suppliers on a daily basis. I know he's quite embarrassed with it, and as much as possible, he wants to show some semblance of being normal. He thinks it suggested a weakness a male shouldn't have. But in my case, I don't see any problem with it (only because I'm a freak myself). He's masculine as any situation calls for, and masculine as needed to be, and for me that's enough. Being 'too-sensitive' doesn't make him half a man in my weird, freakish, O.C. standard.

The nice, the curious, and the racist.

Like most foreigners, I've had several bad experiences during my stay here in Korea. Koreans in general are well educated with extensive knowledge in world history, politics, and current affairs. But inspite of being well-informed, some of them are still prejudiced and judgemental toward foreigners. I don't really think their society is as multi-cultural as what they've been claiming to be. Koreans afterall are homogenous and exclusive people.. They've always been proud of their pure race, and I don't think they're ready to handle the huge influx of people coming to their country. But I'm not saying that all Koreans are like that cause I've met a lot of really good people here who value friendship, honesty, and trust more than anything else. Sometimes, I get really surprised how kind Koreans can be... They share their umbrella with strangers, and someone even gives gloves in a cold winter night.. They could be very nice, polite, and overly helpful that sometimes it gets to a point where it's annoying already. We think Pinoys are the most hospitable people on earth, but wait till you visit a typical Korean house. They totally give a whole new meaning to the word 'hospitality'.

With my 3-year observation, I've come to categorize Koreans in a 3 point scale.

1. "The Nice" - these people are generally nice to foreigners and are open to other norms and culture. They welcome people from other countries with open arms. They also consider interaction with foreigners as a good thing. They would usually go the extra mile to make you feel comfortable and not alienated in anyway. They ask a lot of questions about your country, only for the purpose of getting to know you more and understand your culture.

2. "The Curious" - these people tend to ogle a lot in buses or subways, only because you look and sound different from them. They're the ones who have limited interaction with foreigners so they're curious about what you do, what you eat, how you talk, etc. They like asking a lot of questions about you, your country, your culture and compare it with theirs. Most of the time, they're cautious and watchful because it's harder for them to trust you cause you're different. But if you've proven yourself trust-worthy, you'd be surprised how nice they could be. It might take a while for them to open up, but when they do, they immediately fall under the "The Nice" category.

3. "The Racist" - these people are plain nasty with despicable attitude. They don't want you in their country, so they'd bash you with every hurtful, offensive remarks possible so you'd just go away and leave their 'purest of the pure' race alone. They like playing power-tripping cause they think they're better than everyone else. They could be mean to others just because they think can, and they have the right to. They disregard everything about you cause you're different, and supposedly 'lower' than them. They discriminate not just according to race, but also religion, skin color, and socio-economic status. It's difficult to change or bend their ideology, so it's best to just ignore them and forget they exist.

Most of the people here fall under the first two categories, and the racist comprises the smallest percentage. The worst I've got from them are just stupid glares and incomprehensible racist remarks which I usually ignore. I've experienced far worse than that here... But it didn't come from those racist Koreans, but from fellow Pinoys, and that makes it all the more harder to swallow.

Lesson learned.

I was raised to believe that older people equals respect, and this might also be the case for most kids growing up in a standard Filipino household. But does it really have to be that way? I think just because your older and you've been in this planet longer, that doesn't give you the right to be mean, disrespectful, and insensitive to the feeling of others younger than you. Age doesn't work like a badge entitling a person to lash harsh criticsms, verbal diarrhea, and what not... something they couldn't be comfortable doing with people their age, but they find surprisingly easy and instinctive, almost reflex-like to younger groups. Why can't they just mind their own business and stop being nosy? Why do they have to be pesky, grouchy, and plain irritating? And above all, why do they tend to do things that are annoyingly irksome (they're probably aware of that) thinking they could easily get away with it? Respect is earned, and should never be obligatory.


At age 27, it's tempting to use my age as a leverage to my younger peers, but I don't do that and I don't think I ever will, cause yeah~ I know exactly how it feels. I've encountered a lot of those plain 'nakakainis' kind of older people who deluded themselves into thinking they're better, smarter, and all adjective in it's comparative form. And did I do something? Nope, cause sadly, my upbringing gets in the way. I still have that familiar fear that if I say anything rude to people older than me, I'd be punished. But I learned a valuable lesson in dealing with them, and staying out of trouble. And that is 1. BE QUIET, 2. PLAY DUMB (they like that), and 3. JUST WISH IT'LL BE OVER SOON.