Tale of the Snoop.

I have not been spared of the slings and arrows of 'friendship-gone-sour', and this is making me feel really depressed. To make the matter worse, wranglings with this certain "frienemy" opened more cans of worms which alluded to even more problems and bigger implications. This backstabbing, only-a-mother-could-love gossipmonger loves to fabricate stuff in her free time, and be a pain in everyone's ass. I hate to be affected this much, but because of her, everything that I do now feels unremittingly tedious and difficult. I'm actually toying with the idea of sending her a shirt that says "I'm the biggest bitch there is", and it comes with a bag of chopped up pig's tongue. But knowing how much of a sleaze and barely literate person that she is, she's probably gonna wear that shirt loud and proud. I don't know what she's gonna do with the pig's tongue though.

She annoys me to the hilt, and I couldn't stop thinking about all the harrowing and vile things I wish I had said to her. This is the kind of person who does not deserve an ounce of respect. I'm so done with her pretenses and backstabbing innuendos. It's my fervent wish that she would just vanish, the world would be better off without her anyway. I'm generally a nice person, but this b*tch used up my 10 year supply of patience, making me the exact opposite of my old, modern-day-Pollyana' self...

Thinking Out Loud.

Have you ever had one of those mundane mornings and you find yourself on Facebook, stupidly ogling at pictures and reading statuses of your so-called 'friends'. You don't know what has gotten into your head, but your fingers started typing the name of a person you knew long ago, hoping to find some juicy details of how his life turned out to be. The thing is, this isn't your long lost friend, and not a person you knew from school or work, but an 'ex' whose memories you tried to push to the deepest, darkest pit of your temporal lobe. Your reason tells you not to click that search button, but you did anyway as silly curiosity got the best of you. And there it was, a tiny profile pic the size of your thumb glaring in front of you, and all the bitter memories came back like a tidal wave, swallowing and hurting you beyond comprehension, and you wish to hell that there is such thing as "undo" in real life...

Wednesdays aren't all that bad.

It was a lousy day, till I saw this..

Now, I don't mind the seemingly interminable hours I've waited at COMELEC, or the fact that Jollibee turned into a screaming beehive during lunch, and the perpetually noisy street jammed with pedestrians and bumper-to-bumper, slower-than-a-baby's- crawl traffic, cause Wednesdays aren't so bad afterall!

Lesson learned.

I was raised to believe that older people equals respect, and this might also be the case for most kids growing up in a standard Filipino household. But does it really have to be that way? I think just because your older and you've been in this planet longer, that doesn't give you the right to be mean, disrespectful, and insensitive to the feeling of others younger than you. Age doesn't work like a badge entitling a person to lash harsh criticsms, verbal diarrhea, and what not... something they couldn't be comfortable doing with people their age, but they find surprisingly easy and instinctive, almost reflex-like to younger groups. Why can't they just mind their own business and stop being nosy? Why do they have to be pesky, grouchy, and plain irritating? And above all, why do they tend to do things that are annoyingly irksome (they're probably aware of that) thinking they could easily get away with it? Respect is earned, and should never be obligatory.


At age 27, it's tempting to use my age as a leverage to my younger peers, but I don't do that and I don't think I ever will, cause yeah~ I know exactly how it feels. I've encountered a lot of those plain 'nakakainis' kind of older people who deluded themselves into thinking they're better, smarter, and all adjective in it's comparative form. And did I do something? Nope, cause sadly, my upbringing gets in the way. I still have that familiar fear that if I say anything rude to people older than me, I'd be punished. But I learned a valuable lesson in dealing with them, and staying out of trouble. And that is 1. BE QUIET, 2. PLAY DUMB (they like that), and 3. JUST WISH IT'LL BE OVER SOON.

Of Fur Coat, Speedy Bag, and a Feisty Pair of Boots...

The weather got cold again, just when I was completely adjusted to the warm spring-like temperature. 'Imo' gave me a surprise call on the 14th. I thought she just wanted to greet me and see how my Valentine's Day turned out, but she had other things in mind. She asked, no actually she 'begged' if I could stay with her daughter for three days. And I'm the only person she knows who is young enough to reach out to her and who has unlimited time in her hands.. She and her husband are going on a company-sponsored hiking trip, and no one's gonna look after her 15 year old kid. Ok, I would totally understand if we are talking about a 9 year old kid here.. When I was 10, my parents could go back-packing in Antartica and leave me to fend for myself. But I can't see any logical reason to baby-sit a 15 year old, 165 cm middle-school kid. Maybe they just don't trust her that much. Now.. I'm starting to feel bad for her.

I always had a problem saying 'no' to people older than me, so in short I said yes without re-thinking my options. So last Sunday, after taking more Tylenol than necessary as I'm feeling quite feverish, I dragged myself (knees shaking while doing so^^) to the train station to take the 4:35 pm ride to Daecheon. Chris went there with me as he was worried about my condition. I hate hanging around the train station on weekends cause there isn't much space to move around. The place was flooded with people carrying luggages, boxes, and some other things. I sighed in relief when I finally took the train and settled to my seat. It was lucky that Chris made a reservation earlier to ensure that I could comfortably sit down, or I would have been one of those people who jiggled and bounced as the train picked up speed. When the train approached Pyeongtaek, I started to feel nauseated. I was glad I brought some Hershey's Kisses from home, and that significantly held the 'throwing-up feeling' securely at bay. I was munching three at a time when the train halted to a stop and more people started to come. Crap! I told myself.. There wasn't much 'elbow room' left, and I was beginning to hyperventilate. It was then a middle-aged woman came, wearing a fur coat and carrying a Louis Vuitton Speedy bag, and a sudden waft of fishy smell went through me while she was making her way to the empty seat beside me. A couple of teenage kids giggled a little when the woman passed by. Since she was conveniently close to me, I kept on glancing at her direction. She seemed to be taking a nap. I was scrutinizing her from head to foot, although my attention would always go to her fur coat and Speedy Bag (I wonder why?). I'm not the type of person who gives a damn whether the designer bag I'm seeing is authentic or a knock-off. I know a person like that back in College. Her name is Kriselle, and her hobby is scrutinizing all stuff that bear designer logos, making sure which one is authentic and which one is fake. And if ever she finds out it's fake, she's going to let out a full minute of bad mouthing and I would always feel sorry for the person she's referring too. I'm glad they couldn't hear any of her stupid, superficial thoughts. I learned a valuable lesson from her, and that is to never use a rip off/knock off cause unfortunately, there are Obsessive Compulsive people like Kriselle who scrutinizes stuff as a hobby. Ok.. back to my story. The ajumma seemed to be carrying an authentic one (not that I care).. Her boots are kind of fierce, something you would wanna wear while playing dress up. But with all those things she could afford, why on earth did she let herself stink like that? She reeked of onions and mackerel, the freaking grossest combination ever! The stench clung to the fabric of her clothes that everytime she moves, a waft of rancid air struck me that I was getting closer and closer to expelling my lunch. For a minute there, I deliberated whether she's a fish vendor cause it's the only logical explanation for the stench. But then again, how could a fish vendor afford a luxurious fur coat, an authentic Speedy Bag, and a feisty pair of boots? Well, she's probably not a fish vendor, and my reason tells me she must have eaten something like a raw fish for lunch (probably 'Hong Oh Hui' cause there's nothing known to man that stinks more than that). At that time, I felt really sick that I had to run and throw up in the nearest available restroom. I stayed there for more than 5 minutes, composing myself, till I'm confident I don't have anything to expel anymore. I felt much better after that.. But my knees were so week that I had to hold on to something for support.

When I came back to my seat, the ajumma was already awake. She got a piece of ginseng candy from her bag and started munching. Arrggghh, just my luck! The smell of ginseng candy revolts me as well (although not as bad as onions and mackerel). Chris has a pack of those at home which he didn't dare to touch for three years now, cause he knew how much I hated smelling ginseng candy. It smells too damn strong for a candy... That was it, I needed to cover my face or the nauseating feeling will come back, and I don't want anymore sessions with the restroom. I covered my face with the hood of my jacket that smelled comfortingly like Downy. I took my mp3 player out of my bag and turned it to high. Loud music helps me go to sleep... Maybe it's because of the Tylenol, but I fell into a deep sleep as soon as the 2nd song hit it's final note. The next thing I knew, the train was approaching Daecheon station.. The air was clear by then, the smelly ajumma got off somewhere while I was asleep.

My 3 day stay in Daecheon wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. The fever and nausea got worse that I had to stay in bed most of the time. The 15 year old kid usually stayed inside her room playing Pachelbel's Canon in her piano. She would just approach me when it's time to eat or when she wants to watch "Kkot Boda Namja" with me. Right now, I'm waiting for 'Imo' to come back before I head to the train station to catch my ride back to Suwon.

Just Venting.

Today has been tough. I had fever (yet again!) from yesterday. I can barely move out of my bed. But then I had to go out and drag myself to Chinabank and make an urgent deposit. It couldn't wait so I called up my mom who is doing her grocery at the supermarket nearby and told her that I'm going to the bank. The place is near, about 5-8 minutes away from home. I should've taken a tricycle but my mom insisted that I should get a taxi to go there.

Hailing from a cab, I arrived at 11:22 am. The branch where I went is fairly small so there are only few people there (about 3 including myself). As a customary, I sat down and waited till my number appears on the screen. Finally it was my turn, I hurried to get to the teller's booth (with ailing ankles and elbows!) and to my surprise the woman (teller) didn't budge and just continued doing whatever she's doing. Politely, I waited till she finishes, thinking I have enough time before 12 pm. 2 minutes have passed, 2 precious minutes wasted on the most uncomfortable silence there is. I finally told her, "I need to make a deposit before 12, it's important", then I handed her the money and the deposit slip. Before she could answer, one middle-aged Chinese woman came and went directly to the teller without securing a number first. She gladly entertained her while I'm standing there, looking annoyed. I was in awe when she asked me to sit down and wait. 10 minutes later, the transaction was done and the Chinese woman went outside. I hurried back to the teller and calmly asked what's the reason why I needed to wait that long. She then answered, "we prioritize our account holders more than anything else". I answered, "Am I not here to make a friggin* deposit?!" while fighting the urge to bad-mouth her even more.

When she handed me the reciept, it read 12:11 pm. With an angry face I asked her, "didn't I tell you it's important?", again, she didn't budge. I got her name then stormed my way out of the bank. I was more than pissed when I narrated the story to my mom. She's clearly the worst teller I have ever known!

To ease whatever I'm feeling, I decided to get a massage. After an hour, my head is clearer and felt better, but I still can't forget the incident with the teller.

Boob-tube blues.

It's such a pain watchin my favorite 'idiot box' these days. It's just loaded with crap all day long! Nobody can't stop talking about Bolante and Dela Paz who are obviously guilty but the government isn't doing something about it other than their so-called investigation. F*ck due process in cases like this! They are the reason why people commit crime cause of poverty. The Senate is just one big stage where everybody is acting out, pretending they're doing something in front of the media. And then there's this senate coup d' etat they're talking about, which make them look like a bunch of elementary school students fighting over who is smarter. Having the faces of everyone involved, plastered in every channel makes me wanna gag.

I'm plain numb to everything, almost indifferent. But who can blame me? Being bombarded with things like recession everywhere, corruption, crime, war, and a whole lot more on a daily basis is just too much! I need a break, but it seems like TV is no fun anymore. I hope they allot a day for good news alone, cause people are sick and tired of hearing bad things happening all the time.

Ramyeon fix gone bad?!

Earlier today, I was craving for something hot and spicy. After a strenuous workout on an empty stomach, I craved for something hot to warm me up. It's really hot these days and eating a bowl of piping hot soup seems a bit far-out but I still thought of getting my ramyeon fix, so I went to the grocery and got a pack of Ramyeon.

I felt really hungry as soon as I open the door home, so I immediately boiled water and excitedly waited till it's about time to put the noodles in. It's done in less than 8 minutes, then I brought out some familiar chopsticks and started eating. While I'm in the middle of sipping the hot soup and chewing on the noodles, I examined the wrapper and saw something weird. The expiration date looked different! It's as if someone erased the original date and printed another one. Judging from the ink smear evident in the wrapper, I felt suspicious. The prior date is still embossed while there's a newly printed one on the right side. Then I remembered reading from a friend's blog about expired korean goods here in the Phil.. and this might just be the perfect example. Read on http://www.buhaykorea.com/2008/10/16/expired-korean-products-in-the-philippines/

My bowl was already half-empty before I realized the scary fact. I really regret buying that ramyeon cause I'm now nursing an upset stomach, and who knows what more will I get from eating a probably expired ramyeon.

Some random rants about my workout!

So I'm back to the gym and been working out for 2 days! Whew... it wasn't easy as I expected.

Part of the fitness program mentioned by the Instructor is to stop using the elevator, and use the stairs while going up where the gym is located. At first, I thought he's joking cause the place is situated at the top-most floor. But when I realized that he's dead serious, I gasped. It's 15 friggin floors to climb! Even the most physically fit there would break a serious amount sweat to get to the top...

Like any obedient student, I did what I was told to do. I took a deep breath and started to climb. The first 4 floors was a breeze but lactic acid started to build up and it got difficult from there. I was gasping hard for air on the 7th and 8th floor and had to stop on the 10th cause I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack. I took the elevator from there, then finally showed my tired and sweaty face in the room.

I was already exhausted even before I stepped on the treadmill. What drained me more is the Iranian guy beside me who has some serious odor issue going on that made breathing thru my nose almost impossible! He smelled like duped socks mixed with rotten fruits and fresh chilis on the side. I don't have anything against Iranians for that matter, it's just that this person's case is 'unique'.

After a long and excruciating 15 minutes, I took a shower then moved to the sauna room. I accidentally slept there for a little less than 10 minutes while the temperature is at 57 degrees!

I was so tired when I got out of the building... so tired that I can barely move my legs so it took me 15 minutes to walk home instead of the usual 8.

hm...

I wanna be anywhere but here...

Tired

I'm tired of waiting, waiting for someone who isn't gonna come.

Should be enjoying the holidays instead of sulking...

Happy All Souls day everyone... if there's ever such a greeting..

Hate it

Hate it, hate it, hate it.

I hate it when someone makes promises and ending up disappointing me... sad : (

Where the hell am I?

For those who are wondering where I am, I'm back here in Manila... I haven't been updating my blog these couple of days but I'm still gathering pics from my travels here so hopefully I will be able to do so in a couple of days or weeks.

I arrived Saturday morning at the newly opened Manila International Airport Terminal 3. I don't know why I need to bitch on this, but I beg to disagree to the people who mentioned it's 'high-tech' or 'state-of-the-art' but of course, it's much better than the old and dilapidated Terminal 1. I just thought, they could do more

I think I only slept for 4 hours before getting up at 8 am. I went to the grocery and bought a lot of stuff I missed while I was in Korea. Good thing the supermarket is about a minute away from our house! 4 days have passed and what did I do? I went shopping for shoes and gym clothes, enrolled in a gym, went to the bank, started working-out, watched two tagalog movies in theaters, met friends, visited a hospital for check-up, visited my dentist who missed me so much, played at TimeZone and so much more! It was a crazy four days and I'm pretty sure it's gonna get even crazier!!!

Back to hell hole

I just got back here in this sh*t hole this morning. As usual, I saw J.W. aka T.H. (Teenage from Hell). (Yup, that's my problem. I curse a lot when I'm angry.) Some might ask, what could a teenager possibly do enough to be branded as T.H. Well, a lot! They could do a lot of things to piss people off. She and her friend H.J. aka T.H.2 (Teenage from Hell Number 2), remind me a lot of the Japanese Drama I watched 4 years ago. The title of the drama is G.T.O. or Great Teacher Onizuka. No, I'm not that great of a teacher but those two sinister sisters remind me of the students Onizuka Sensei had. They are the worst nightmare a teacher can ever have! See the picture?

Having conversations with them is such a pain in my *ss. WIth utmost plasticity J.W. said hello as soon as I entered their house. Her mom has to bug her to display some courtesy and greet me. As soon as she said that, she cursed her mother, shouted a little bit before retreating to her room. She's not with H.J. today cause the other evil sister went on a trip with her family. Good thing she's not around or else I would have my double dose of anxiety....

Out of respect to 'Imo', J.W.'s mom. I never show my anger to them but deep inside I'm seething. Fortunately, I would only have to bear with them for two more days and I would never have to see there friggin face ever again. Such a young age but they clearly have this sense of superiority complex towards others who have darker skin than them.

P.S. They even managed to make fun of our 15-man delegates for the Olympics at the opening ceremony..! Bitches...

bad mood

I've been really busy this week going back and forth more than the usual to Seoul and Daecheon for my classes so I'm really tired the whole week. I need time to take a rest and sleep enough but that didn't happen because my homestay asked me to go back to Daecheon and look after her child while she's at Cheonan taking care of a sick daughter. I wanted to tell her so badly that I feel terrible and I just wanted to stay at home and sleep but I couldn't. I'm suffering from sore throat, have a slight cough, and my body aches all over. It's impolite to say 'no' to an old person here when they're asking a favor so I reluctantly boarded the train early in the morning. There are so many people at the train and I almost forgot that it's still summer vacation for a lot of people but not for me. Time goes so slow here in Daecheon... and it kills me. It's so different from the city! Although people here are genuinely nice, they are so conservative and talkative.

I don't ask much but just a little quiet time and not having someone ask me something all the time. Like how I should tie my hair, what should I wear, what I shouldn't wear, how I should not wear socks, when should I wash my clothes, why I should never close the door or the window in my room. They even ask me to brush my teeth or take a shower in a specific time , and no... I do not have halitosis or body odor and I'm proud of my hygiene. They just ask me this because they just couldn't stop talking. What really freaks me out is how they creep inside my room at night to see if my windows are open or if the fan is turned on or if I'm cold. I feel difficult to sleep in other people's houses so if I wake up in the middle of the night (which always happens), I can't get back to sleep. I tried locking the door before so it would stop but they didn't stop knocking to see what I was doing so I just followed them not to lock doors. I came to Seoul one day and when I got back, I'm stunned to see that the door lock was disabled.

I really hate how they bug me about all the things! They are nice and all but they just couldn't shut up! What I hate the most is that I need to keep all windows or doors open all the time. Do they have something against closed doors here? One needs privacy right? I couldn't even change my clothes inside my room cause the door shouldn't be closed so I have to get dressed inside the crampy toilet. I don't wanna even mention how they bugged me on how I should and how I should 'not' eat their food. Apparently, they have some specific way of eating chicken so they want me to follow them, I was aghast when they tried to tinker with my chicken using their chopsticks because I wasn't eating it right! Oh come on!!!!!

I'm totally pissed and I know I'm being such a brat. I'm probably too sensitive and they didn't mean any harm while doing so. I blame it on the cultural difference. This is not my country so I have to adjust. But there comes a day when I just couldn't take any of that and just wish they would stop. I cried because I'm so pissed today. So annoyed that I wasn't able to hold back my tears cause I couldn't do anything. Because I don't have a choice. Even if I don't ever wish to come back, I have to. Good thing I have a blog. I really need to vent.

It's now 8:40 pm. 16 more hours to go before my departure here. I really just can't wait.... But soon it'll be Tuesday and I have to come back here again. I just need a frigging break!

"Never use. Never"

I woke up at 8 am today and it's really late compared to the usual time I wake up. 'Imo', my homestay owner's wife still hasn't come back from Cheonan. So it's only me, J.W. (Imo's teenage daughter), and Imo's husband. J.W. was gracious enough to cook dinner for us last night. She cooked curry rice. Her mother prepared almost everything for her to cook like potatoes, carrots, and the curry mix.

After preparing new set of clothes, I went to the bathroom to take an early morning shower as I always do. I was surprised to see a note written in a yellow paper (a post-it to be exact) posted in the toilet bowl saying "Never use. Never". For a sec I thought it was just a joke but how come it's not funny. Then I remembered last night when J.W. went to my room and took something from the drawer. It was a yellow paper and I saw her scribbling something but I was too busy to mind her. I fell asleep after that and I totally forgot about that incident until now.

I guess the toilet needs to be fixed. But why would she be writing something like that? We're just three people here and she should have the courtesy to just tell me that the flush isn't working. As simple as that, but writing a note to never use... never is quite rude to me. How am I suppose to relieve myself when nature calls? I have just decided not to use the bathroom till imo comes home. I just hope I can stand cause I really need to go.

Out of time

It's been a long time since I last posted here. Although I have lots of things I wanna write about, I can't seem to find time to do so. July was a very busy month, going back and forth to Daecheon and Seoul for my classes was extremely tiring. I got into this habit of sleeping wherever I can like in the bus, subway, or train because I always feel lack of sleep. Weekends are spent on traveling, meeting friends, shopping, cleaning the house, etc. I don't know where I can squeeze in blogging from my very hectic schedule. There are things I wanted to do like getting a hair treatment which I've been planning on doing for two months now, or going to my Doctor for a follow-up check up, shopping for new make-up and skin care, and buying a good book. Speaking of books, I always pass by Jongno Tower in Seoul (about 3 times a week) where there is Bandi and Luni's Bookstore. I thought about dropping by and look for books I could read while I'm on the subway, train, or bus but I'm always running late for my class and never had a chance to visit. Last Monday, I made an effort to get up early so I could visit Bandi and Luni's and buy some books. I checked out all the sections and finally narrowed my choices to 4, a self-help book, 2 new-released novels, and a classic. Just when I was about to pay, my phone rang. It was D.Y. asking where I was, I nearly freaked out when I realized I'm already 15-minutes late for my class. I dropped the books and thought I should just buy it online to save time. After my class I'm still in a hurry to go home or else I'll be caught up in the rush-hour traffic. I come back home at 9:30 pm, tired and hungry but I still have to prepare dinner. I usually just buy food outside and eat it at home but I know it's unhealthy so I try to make it by myself. I finish all my chores just before midnight like doing the dishes, doing the laundry, mopping the floor, and preparing my things for my class the following day. I always feel dead-beat tired after the day's work I couldn't even use the computer. I stay in Daecheon 2 or 3 times a week and I'm glad I'm not that busy there unlike here in the city. My homestay owner basically takes care of all my needs. When I don't have class, I walk around the neighborhood for sight-seeing. It's always nice to see a small and quiet neighborhood away from the city, no traffic, no pollution, no drunk people roaming the streets at night.

Bummed out

" I could tell from the minute I woke up, it's gonna be a lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely day." I snagged this saying out of the song 'Lonely Day' from Phantom Planet.

I must admit, I'm feeling a bit down these days. Nothing seems to work out for me. Nobody cares. Nothing fits. A lot of hindrances, snags along the way. I've been bombarded with too much repercussions from the past. It's haunting me. Making me feel L-O-N-E-L-Y.

I'm looking for solace, peace of mind, free from dejection. I'm looking for the essence of my existence. I long to be appreciated. I demand to be understood. I aspire to be accepted. I yearn to be invulnerable so nobody can hurt me anymore.

For all those who hurt me, have been making me feel miserable, continously struggling to bring me down.... All I can say is F*** off!

Summer seems to be Boiling!!!

It's officially SUMMER and I can barfely stand the heat!!! I'm good when the season is cold but I couldn't possibly tolerate the heat~~~

I am very vocal about my uttermost dislike for humidity and heat so I am frequently asked how I could stand living in the PH. The answer is NO, I couldn't stand but I don't have a choice.

At this very minute at several degrees celcius higher from 25, I'm dreaming about being in a cold place, barely standing the bitter cold. I suddenly find myself having an uncontrollable appetite for anything that's cold, iced, or frozen. It's the only way I can stand the heat of this summer that seems to be boiling.

On the verge of perspiration I ponder, just how is it like to be some place in Norway, Greenland, or even Canada....? Already, I'm beginning to feel comfortable just by thinking about it...

Return to Normalcy

Vacation is almost up, time to go back to the place where I should be. Just how does it feel to be leaving Manila again?!

I'm no way nationalistic by nature but I do know how to appreciate my birth country. There are so many things cool about Manila, and I haven't felt that in other countries I visited. If I were to describe Manila in one word, it'll be "CHILL". That's the perfect word for it.

I learned from school that Manila came from the word "Maynilad" or "where there is nilad", a flowering mangrove plant which I haven't seen nor heard of in my entire life! I guess it became extinct, annihilated by the war, or whatever.

Wait, I'm baffled by the fact that I'm from Q.C. and not from Manila. This is a complex I learned during my stay abroad. Foreigners usually know the capital city of PH as Manila and whenever I'm asked where I am from, I gladly reply Manila eventhough I'm from Q.C. because they do not usually know the surrounding cities of Manila. And if I ever mention Q.C., they'd think it's some rural province way outside Manila (had to tell them that it's part of the outskirts of Manila over and over again!!!) and I do not want to be known as the small time, rural girl hailing from the boondocks far away from civilization. I'm not being bashful here but the truth is, when foreign people (esp whites) think about country-side place of the PH, they think of the outbacks, a 'very-rural-under-developed back of beyond' kinda place where cows and water buffalos freely roam the streets.

And why the hell is it so difficult for them to pronounce the word QUEZON!!! I am sparing myself the embarassment of repeatedly saying how Quezon City should be pronounced not to mention telling them that I'm not from "Quezon" the province south-east of Manila and that it's a different place both geographically and economically eventhough it's basically both from Luzon.

For whatever it's worth, I surely love all parts of PH. But eventhough this is my birthplace, it's only good enough to be 'just' a vacation spot for me. With all the crimes, political innuendos, poverty, gap between rich and poor, and immeasurable debt surrounding the country, can people still find hope with everything in between? I don't thinks so.

If I could be a President and If I were to give people a choice as to stay here or go abroad, I think PH will be a ghost town, desolated.

I'm sadden by the fact that I finally gave up hope for my country. I say to myself "Have I forsaken my country?" or "Have I been long forsaken?" It saddens me more that for me, going abroad means going back to normalcy. Going back to a place where I could just be a care-free citizen (though I'm not), earning decently enough for my needs and seeing people with compassion for everyone. I can't remember how long it has been since I last saw/experienced this in my own country,