Not just another Birthday.

I celebrated my 28th birthday yesterday! I can't believe that I just turned 28 cause maturity-wise, I feel like I'm forever stuck at sweet sixteen. Half of the day I spent moping in front of the computer cause Chris seemed to forget that it was my special day. At noon he called to greet me "Happy Birthday" (he even sang the "Happy Birthday Song" in korean). To cheer me up, he gave me a one-day, guilt-free shopping pass, turns out it was totally useless considering the heavy rain...

When Chris came back home, he gave me a bouquet of flowers. I was in awe cause he's so not the type who gives flowers. All I could say is "you remembered!"... He bought it during his lunch break, and kept it in a plastic bag while he was working, so some of the flowers were damaged a bit. I guess he hasn't heard of the word "DELIVERY" yet?! ^^



Despite the rain, Chris wanted to have dinner at some restaurant, so I changed into an orange bohemian-inspired dress which I bought on impulse the other day (blame it on Tessa cause while we were at ZARA last Sunday, she said orange is my color, and when I saw an orange dress on my way home, I remembered what Tessa said and bought it without thinking..^^). When Chris and I went out, the rain was so strong that part of the street was flooded. We had to go back and change into something more comfortable (by comfortable I meant house-wear). It didn't really matter what we wore cause at an instant, we were totally wet from the rain.

We went to a Japanese restaurant that serves all-you-can-eat Tuna sashimi. The guy who cuts up tuna was very welcoming, he even gave us towels to dry our hair. The restaurant is really nice and cozy. It's lucky that we were the only customer at that time as we got the best spot and the privacy we needed. I wasn't able to take a picture of the whole restaurant, but it looks a little something like this..



Like any other tuna sashimi restaurant, they first served some crab porridge and miso soup.



Their tuna is really good! The quantity looks small in the picture, but did I mention they serve this non-stop?



This is one delicious Japanese salmon egg roll.



Since it's my birthday, and we're both shivering from the cold, we had to have some alcohol to go with the tuna.. Ok, I know I said a hundred times before that I don't drink anything besides beer and wine (and a few cocktails), but this is a rare exception where I actually craved for something to warm me up.



While eating, we talked about politics, a bit of history, Lee Myung Bak, and North Korea. It seems boring, but not if you happen to see Chris making funny facial expressions as he try his best to articulate difficult words such as "expatriate" and "solidify".

After dinner, we spent the night at Noblesse. Chris woke up early and got ready for work. He said I should sleep more so I stayed there till 2.

The only thing that's lacking in my birthday story is the gift right? Well, in the middle of writing this, the delivery person came and brought it.



It's NIKE DUNK 6.0 in brilliant magenta and vivid blue color!!! I like how they said "BRILLIANT" and "VIVID" in the box, it sounds so enticing, LoL. So it's cute (CHECK!), outrageously different (CHECK!), color so bright it'll give you eye-sore (CHECK!), but this shoe is so me and I could totally see myself wearing it in the mall, up in the mountain, at the park, or by the beach!

Apart from the flowers, dinner, and the gift, the thing that I'm most thankful for is having Chris in my life. (Picture taken somewhere in Pocheon, Summer '08)



To Oppa,

Last night, while we were talking about lottery and you were doing all those mathematical equations, I realized one thing, and that is having you in my life is like hitting the jackpot! Thank you for making each day better than the last!

Anniversaries.

When I met Chris for the first time, I didn't have the slightest clue that we would end up like this. I could still vividly remember how he looked at that time. From the airport, he went straight to the travel agency where we met. He was jet-lagged, had very little sleep, and was running on little more than adrenaline. And despite his ruffled clothes and messy hair, he still managed to look awfully cute! Our initial conversation had turned into a dinner invitation. I'm not the type who readily accepts dinner invitation from an absolute stranger, but for some profound reason, I found myself saying yes. As desperate as it sounds, I begged and bribed my unwilling friend to go with me, and thanks to her guile and wits, our awkward conversation about Chinese pop (which he didn't have the slightest idea), Confucious, and Manchuria (yup.. you read it right!) quickly led to a more interesting one. When the rain started pouring, and he offered me his jacket, my friend was utterly convinced that he sort of likes me. I don't know, but we seemed strangely unconnected that it made it hard for me to figure him out. He also took a couple of pictures of me and my friend that night, which made the air even more awkward than it already was (later on he told me that since I refused to give him my number, we might not meet again, and he didn't want to forget my face). When my friend momentarily went out, he took his chance to tell me in a very subtle way, and without sounding embarrassed or apologetic, that he likes me. If there was any doubt before about his true intentions for inviting me over to dinner, it was gone at that instant. It's really strange and super awkward to hear that (first meeting and all), and I didn't know how to respond so I just kept quiet and pretended I didn't hear anything (I didn't know he took my silence as a confirmation that I like him back!). Other than the rain, everything was perfect and unforgettable that night.

From then on, everything seemed to pass in a blur. He ended up staying in the same condominium where I live. He rented a unit there, so we basically see each other every single day. Some days he'd pick me up from work, other days he'd just ask me out on dinner. One weekend, we went to have lunch at Cibo (which is just 3 minutes away from where we live). And while crossing the street on the way home, he held my hand. I was surprised how comfortably and effortlessly he put his hand on mine, so I had to ask why. He said "because you're my girlfriend", and for obvious reason that I like him just as much, I didn't bother to disagree with him. I'll never forget how soft, and how white his hand looked against my skin. That day, I sort of made a mental note that a year after, it'll be our anniversary.

His stay in the Philippines went by so fast, and in a matter of one month, we managed to squeeze trips to Boracay, Baguio, Pangasinan, and Pagsanjan, which meant a lot of missed days at work. When I took him to the airport, I must have cried buckets of tears.. There was every chance he wouldn't come back like what he promised, so when he said goodbye, I took it differently. A week after he came back to Korea, he made a plan to visit the Philippines again before the school starts. 3 weeks later, we met again... He stayed true to his words and visited me 5 times that year. When our first anniversary came, we celebrated it in Korea!

We're celebrating our 4th anniversary next month, and I'm flying back to Korea a day before that. Chris is so bad with dates that I'm not sure whether he'll remember it on his own. He seems to remember the date we first met, but not the day he first held my hand and we officially became a couple.. ^^

Missing Oppa.

Chris is down with a bad case of flu. We talked over the phone yesterday.. he said he's so sick that he couldn't get out of bed. In times like this, I regret not being there for him. He rarely gets sick, but when he does, it's quite serious and he needs someone who'll take care of him.

I miss him terribly, and I know he misses me just as much. When we talked, he said he wants me to 'come home' soon. I want to see him too, but I'm doing my best to stop myself from jumping on the next plane back to Korea. I think it's too soon and I've got a lot of things to accomplish first.

We know for a fact that we couldn't stand being away from each other, so every separation, every goodbye is agonizing. The day before I departed from Korea, Chris took me out on a date. We first went to a Gamjatang restaurant. He didn't eat much and he kept on giving me the meat. Then we went to see "The Reader". The story was good, but I wasn't into it. We went to a wine bar after that.. he ordered this fancy wine which I didn't approve of. But he said it's a special day so we shouldn't think about the price.. We stayed in a hotel that night. We played "S-O-S" (a game that was famous during my grade school days), we drank, wrestled each other, and I even made him wear a headband (he didn't allow me to put make up on his face). But more importantly, he talked about his feelings, how much he loves me... I've never heard more " I Love Yous" in one night in my entire life!

On my departure day, my flight was delayed so we get to spend more time at the airport. While waiting for my flight, he scribbled something on a piece of paper. When he gave it to me, he asked me not to read it till I'm inside the plane. He hugged me and kissed me a couple of times before he led me to the immigration door. He was crying a little, and that made me extremely sad. When I was on the plane, I read his letter and I couldn't help crying.. He wrote how much he loves me, and that he couldn't live without me. But the thing that made me cry was the fact that he was saying sorry if he ever did something that made me feel sad and unhappy.

I really miss him.. I miss the revolting smell of his ginseng tea... I miss the sound of his alarm... I miss his noisy fridge, and his never ending phone calls. I miss his little notes, and the way he makes my tea... I miss the fact that he knows everything, and has an answer for all my idiotic questions. Behind his back, I would try to google it, and I even miss how upset I become cause he's always right. I miss his standard three calls a day while he's at work, and the way he carries my bag whenever we go out. I miss everything about him, and I couldn't wait till I finally see him.

Dreams...

Chris and I are unusually arguing a lot lately. Just minor issues that are totally unnecessary like his frequent drinking spree with his co-workers, how long it takes for him to shop, or his interest in playing online games and stuff like that. I should know better cause I've known him for more that 3 years now, but why does it feel like I'm still in the whole adjustment period...? Is relationship about never-ending adjustment? Why do I feel like there are still so many things I have yet to know about him, his country or his culture...? And why can't I still speak in Korean so it wouldn't be awkward whenever I meet his parents? Why can't I feel any sense of belongingness whenever I'm with his friends or his family? Ehyu, have a lot of questions in my head but I don't know where to get some answers. Being with him is just so overwhelming..

Can't help but think of the time when we're still in the Phil. Everything seemed easy back then. All we could think of is love and nothing else. We didn't want to be separated and all we wanted is to stay close to each other... But now, why do I sometimes wish I can be anywhere but here? I guess I'm just overwhelmed with all the things, the house chores, meeting his friends, meeting his family and relatives, our cultural differences, everything.. But I know I love him, and he loves me. It is what keeps us together. And I know that I can't possibly live without him so I chose to have a rather complicated life here.

Last night, just before he went to sleep, I asked what his dream is, he answered to live in Phil with me so I wouldn't feel difficult anymore. Suddenly, all my insecurities and hatred went away... I understood him more. Then I remembered how much I miss him whenever we're away from each other and how much we're willing to spend just to talk to each other on the phone. We have to be together even if it meant a thousand more arguments to come... I'm really sure that I fell in love with the right guy, someone who'll go the extra mile just to make me happy and have a comfortable life. I really hope one day, he'll be able to accomplish his dream.

Love knows no boundaries...

Since I consider my blog as a journal of my life, I write things that I wish I wouldn't forget. And among hundreds of posts I wrote, I almost never mentioned about my bf. I'm actually saving our story for one 'special' post like this one.

He is a Korean and I'm a Filipina. His name is Chris and he's a year older than me...He was a senior engineering student at Hanyang University when we met. I call him my greatest love, my happiness, my everything. We've been together for more than 3 years now and been working on getting married in the future.

It all started when I'm still working as an English Teacher at a language school in Q.C. It was right after our lunch break when I first saw Chris. He was walking towards the travel agency nearby when some of my colleagues started calling his attention. He was carrying a big luggage at that time and he seemed lost. Out of goodwill, my friends offered help. I admit, he looked really cute that day, that's why my friends kept on talking to him. I was the only one who seemed distant and quiet. In my head, I hated all the attention my friends were giving him cause I didn't want him to think that we were so into him. He kept on glancing at me and asked a couple of things. I was surprised how well he speaks in English, probably the best I've ever heard (he didn't sound a typical korean at all!)... For some reason, my friends disappeared and we were left talking to each other.

When the bell rang, I said goodbye and I thought that was it. After the next break, my friends and I gathered to the same exact spot. I was surprised to see him again... He looked as if he's waiting for someone but I didn't know he was actually waiting for me. After I finished my work, he was still there and that's the time he asked if I could have dinner with him. I didn't think twice cause I secretly liked him a little bit so I said yes, provided that I get to bring along a friend. So all 3 of us went to the restaurant and ate. It was raining hard at that time and the air is a bit cold. I don't know why but he offered his hooded jacket. I politely said no but he kept on insisting. That night, I felt that he's really interested in me.

He was supposed to enter a boarding house before meeting me. But he ended up renting a unit in the same condominium where my sister and I are staying. We then became inseparable. He made each day special and then I slowly realized I'm falling hard for him. Each day I grew more and more nervous as his departure day gets closer. The night before his flight, I cried so much. I woke up the next day with swollen eyes from too much crying. Still, tears ran down my cheeks as we said our goodbyes at the airport. I thought, that was the end of it till I recieved a mail from him. In his letter, he mentioned how crazy in love he is and he can't wait to come back for me. True enough, 2 months later he's back but he stayed for only a week. Still, I cried so much when I took him to the airport. True to his word, he came back frequently (5 times in a year) to see me. The last time he visited Manila, he stayed for a month. After he entered Samsung, it became very difficult for him to visit me so he asked me to visit him instead. From then on, Korea has been my second home.

Being in an inter-racial relationship is not easy. There are so many things to think about. I spent so many sleepless nights thinking whether this relationship is worth the fight or not. Chris would always say yes... I hold on to his answer and would just brush this idea away from my head afterall, love knows no boundary, nor culture, nationality, or even race.

Love Defined

What does love mean to me. The dictionaries meaning is to have a strong attachment induced by that which delights or commands admiration, pre-eminent kindness, a devotion to another person, of deep affection and tenderness …The only way for us to truly understand the definition on love is to present you with my current situation. I’m in love, yes and it hit me like an avalanche. I never expected it to happen; all I wanted was a bit of change in my life. What a drastic change! He told me for the first time he loved me, they were right to say that missing each other is a test of love; I get so emotional sometimes and I started to cry, why? cause no one has made me feel this wanted, needed and loved. Love is all about sharing, understanding and allowing someone into your “personal space” of your heart, I know it does not always work out this way. Love is about sacrifice and compromise. I myself gave up on love, was tired of chasing it and not finding what I desired so much and in the end, it found me in the most unexpected place. And why I chose to fall in love, even though it’s been so difficult now, with him a million miles away, the answer is quiet simple, and the heart does not ask how to feel. The heart was not meant to wither away and by allowing one to open up ones heart to another, it’s the most splendid feeling of all. What would the purpose of ones existence be without love and appreciation, without sharing your sorrows and pleasures with, without having the opportunity to express yourself in more ways than one. I know love and relationships can be difficult, but I look at it like a business, if you don’t work at it, you will not succeed. There were times when I thought, to hell with this, why let yourself feel all these need and desire, when you don’t know whether it will succeed or not, but then I look within and found that once you start loving yourself, others will notice and feel and love will soon come knocking at your door …wait, I’m not yet done. Whether my present relationship is only for us to be together so that we can give each other support and understanding, to be each other pillars of strength, to be there for each other when life just gets too much or for some other deeper more meaningful reason, this I can’t answer. Our paths have crossed for a reason, but what lies ahead, well, no one can say. You never loose by loving, you only loose by holding back, really. I have noticed one major difference in myself and the way I love now, compared to the way I did. You know when you're younger, you think you’ll live forever and you think that when you have someone in your life, you feel as if you will never feel about another person the way you feel about that specific person that very moment and when your paths divide you feel like your whole world is going to fall apart, you promise yourself not to allow love to ever knock on your door and what happens, the heart heals and you fall in love all over again. I’m not saying I fall in love with each and every guy I meet, NO!, to me it’s a special bond and my degree of love for each is different in a way. I can honestly say that right now, my love is more mature, we have a greater understanding of each others needs, wants and desires. We basically are ready to accept each other with our lives. I am basically at a stage in my life where I feel I need to share my life and my love with someone. I’ll end off by saying: ‘To love is to admire with heart, to admire is to love with the mind”.So there you have it, my definition on this phenomenal factor called love, a question no human being can ever define properly, only accept it and learn from it as life goes on.

Me on bein' mushy...

Here's a list of quotes from movies which I really like. The first one's my personal favorite:


"I’ve kissed a guy... I’ve kissed guys. I just haven’t felt that thing.... That thing... that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy, and the only thing in focus is you and this person. And you realize that person is the only person you’re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. And you wanna laugh and you wanna cry, ‘cause you feel so lucky that you’ve found it, and so scared that it’ll go away all at the same time."
Drew Barrymore; from the movie "Never Been Kissed"

"Death can not stop true love, it can only delay it for a little while."
from the movie "The Princess Bride"

"This kind of certainty comes, but once in a lifetime."
Clint Eastwood, from the movie "Bridges of Madison County"

"I want you to get swept away. I want you to levitate. I want you to sing with rapture, dance like a dervish."
from the movie "Meet Joe Black"

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
from the movie "Shaw Shank Redemption"

"We are who we are, how we got here doesn't matter. What matters is- what do we do know?"
from the movie "Deep End of The Ocean"

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return."
Christian, from the movie "Moulin Rouge"

"You will never know love unless you surrender to it."
from the movie "Fools Rush In"

"I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you."
John Smith, from the movie "Pocahontas"

"I guarantee there’ll be tough times; I guarantee that at some point, one, or both of us is gonna wanna get out of this thing; But I also guarantee, that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life... because I know in my heart, that you’re the only one for me."
from the movie "Runaway Bride"

"A name makes no matter to me, as long as I can call you my own."
from the movie "A Knight's Tale"

"This is true love. Do you think this happens everyday?"
Westly; from the movie "Princess Bride"

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with a person, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
Billy Crystal, from the movie "When Harry Met Sally"


"I'd rather spend a lifetime with you then to live all the ages of this world alone."
from the movie, "Lord of the Rings"

"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting. -Tinkerbell"
from the movie "Peter Pan"

"There is nothing sadder in this life than to watch someone you love walk away after they have left you. To watch the distance between your two bodies expand until there is nothing left but empty space... and silence."
from the movie "Someone Like You"

"You are the only person that can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time."
from the movie "The Hot Chick"

"Why do you want to marry me?
So I can kiss you anytime I want!"
from the movie, "Sweet Home Alabama"

"There you see her, sitting there across the way, she doesn't got a lot to say, but there's something about her, and you don't know why, but you're dying to try... you wanna kiss the girl."
from the movie, "The Little Mermaid"

"I would rather have tasted her lips just once, touched her skin, one time, and made love to her for one night, than spend the rest of my life without ever knowing that."
from the movie "City of Angels"

I'm feelin quite sentimental and it's nice to read quotes like this. It makes my day somewhat brighter.... ^^