Dreams...

Chris and I are unusually arguing a lot lately. Just minor issues that are totally unnecessary like his frequent drinking spree with his co-workers, how long it takes for him to shop, or his interest in playing online games and stuff like that. I should know better cause I've known him for more that 3 years now, but why does it feel like I'm still in the whole adjustment period...? Is relationship about never-ending adjustment? Why do I feel like there are still so many things I have yet to know about him, his country or his culture...? And why can't I still speak in Korean so it wouldn't be awkward whenever I meet his parents? Why can't I feel any sense of belongingness whenever I'm with his friends or his family? Ehyu, have a lot of questions in my head but I don't know where to get some answers. Being with him is just so overwhelming..

Can't help but think of the time when we're still in the Phil. Everything seemed easy back then. All we could think of is love and nothing else. We didn't want to be separated and all we wanted is to stay close to each other... But now, why do I sometimes wish I can be anywhere but here? I guess I'm just overwhelmed with all the things, the house chores, meeting his friends, meeting his family and relatives, our cultural differences, everything.. But I know I love him, and he loves me. It is what keeps us together. And I know that I can't possibly live without him so I chose to have a rather complicated life here.

Last night, just before he went to sleep, I asked what his dream is, he answered to live in Phil with me so I wouldn't feel difficult anymore. Suddenly, all my insecurities and hatred went away... I understood him more. Then I remembered how much I miss him whenever we're away from each other and how much we're willing to spend just to talk to each other on the phone. We have to be together even if it meant a thousand more arguments to come... I'm really sure that I fell in love with the right guy, someone who'll go the extra mile just to make me happy and have a comfortable life. I really hope one day, he'll be able to accomplish his dream.