Anniversaries.

When I met Chris for the first time, I didn't have the slightest clue that we would end up like this. I could still vividly remember how he looked at that time. From the airport, he went straight to the travel agency where we met. He was jet-lagged, had very little sleep, and was running on little more than adrenaline. And despite his ruffled clothes and messy hair, he still managed to look awfully cute! Our initial conversation had turned into a dinner invitation. I'm not the type who readily accepts dinner invitation from an absolute stranger, but for some profound reason, I found myself saying yes. As desperate as it sounds, I begged and bribed my unwilling friend to go with me, and thanks to her guile and wits, our awkward conversation about Chinese pop (which he didn't have the slightest idea), Confucious, and Manchuria (yup.. you read it right!) quickly led to a more interesting one. When the rain started pouring, and he offered me his jacket, my friend was utterly convinced that he sort of likes me. I don't know, but we seemed strangely unconnected that it made it hard for me to figure him out. He also took a couple of pictures of me and my friend that night, which made the air even more awkward than it already was (later on he told me that since I refused to give him my number, we might not meet again, and he didn't want to forget my face). When my friend momentarily went out, he took his chance to tell me in a very subtle way, and without sounding embarrassed or apologetic, that he likes me. If there was any doubt before about his true intentions for inviting me over to dinner, it was gone at that instant. It's really strange and super awkward to hear that (first meeting and all), and I didn't know how to respond so I just kept quiet and pretended I didn't hear anything (I didn't know he took my silence as a confirmation that I like him back!). Other than the rain, everything was perfect and unforgettable that night.

From then on, everything seemed to pass in a blur. He ended up staying in the same condominium where I live. He rented a unit there, so we basically see each other every single day. Some days he'd pick me up from work, other days he'd just ask me out on dinner. One weekend, we went to have lunch at Cibo (which is just 3 minutes away from where we live). And while crossing the street on the way home, he held my hand. I was surprised how comfortably and effortlessly he put his hand on mine, so I had to ask why. He said "because you're my girlfriend", and for obvious reason that I like him just as much, I didn't bother to disagree with him. I'll never forget how soft, and how white his hand looked against my skin. That day, I sort of made a mental note that a year after, it'll be our anniversary.

His stay in the Philippines went by so fast, and in a matter of one month, we managed to squeeze trips to Boracay, Baguio, Pangasinan, and Pagsanjan, which meant a lot of missed days at work. When I took him to the airport, I must have cried buckets of tears.. There was every chance he wouldn't come back like what he promised, so when he said goodbye, I took it differently. A week after he came back to Korea, he made a plan to visit the Philippines again before the school starts. 3 weeks later, we met again... He stayed true to his words and visited me 5 times that year. When our first anniversary came, we celebrated it in Korea!

We're celebrating our 4th anniversary next month, and I'm flying back to Korea a day before that. Chris is so bad with dates that I'm not sure whether he'll remember it on his own. He seems to remember the date we first met, but not the day he first held my hand and we officially became a couple.. ^^

Of arguments, movie, and a letter.

Chris and I had a not-so-pleasant conversation while chatting last night. Like with all our other arguments, it started with an extremely petty thing, blown out of proportion. You see, it's the time of the month where I let my bitchier side take-over, and I become the most deviant person imaginable. Too bad, he was at the unfortunate end of my childish, bitchy wrath..

We both knew from Day 1 that our personalities are the extreme opposite of each other, and yet we decided to defy the odds and stick to each other like a pair of star-crossed lovers. Well, I'm a non-conformist by nature. I feel diffiuclt to conform to a certain ideology, especially if I think there's something wrong with it, or if it's against my moral beliefs. But for the sake of making this interracial and sometimes-long-distance relationship work, I force myself to adjust and conform to all those rules he annoyingly mapped out for me. I do appreciate the things that he does cause I know it's all for the better. But sometimes his concern becomes way too much, and I would really like it if he'll give me some space to think on my own, and space to make mistakes and learn from them. I hate being told what to do, and what I cannot do.. and Chris has been doing this a lot lately. Last night, in the middle of his usual speech, I snapped. If my cheeks had been any hotter, I swear it would've burst into flames... and that's how upset I was at that time. I know I may have overreacted, and again I'm blaming the ever-so-convenient PMS for all the unnecessary rage. I just wanted to show him how sick I was from constantly hearing his piece, and all those rules and schedules I have to, but almost never follow. I cannot put it into words exactly, but if you happen to see the movie "One More Chance", you'll understand me more. Chris is somewhat similar to John Lloyd there (though not to that extent of being "pakialamero"), but in any case it's annoying, and I'm bound to snap like Bea one day..

Since my PMS is still in full throttle, I choose to continue acting like this bratty drama-queen and refuse his calls, even after he apologized thru mail right after the argument.. I'm pasting a copy of his mail (he's sooo gonna kill me if he knew I posted it here.. ^^) which is really simple but also incredibly sweet. The context may sound weird to some people, but he's Korean, and it's very much evident in his writing..

***

today, we didn't have nice conversation and i'm sorry for my mistake. but let you know I miss you a lot.

your Oppa.

A Taste of Real Manila.

I met some friends last Sunday for a very late lunch in Malate area. Everyone was in for some good-old Filipino cuisine, and we didn't have to think twice in choosing Aristocrat. Their combo of Kare-kare and Crispy pata was superbly delicious, especially on an empty stomach like ours. As soon as our orders arrived, everyone grew quiet. That's probably the biggest proof of how good the food tasted.. you could barely talk.

Baywalk is right infront of the restaurant.. and since I haven't seen Manila Bay upclose for so many years, I pleaded them to go there with me. They probably couldn't understand why I got all excited and took pictures after pictures of something that seems so ordinary. Lucky for them, they didn't have to miss Manila like I do. More than the restaurants, posh nightclubs, or the colossal shopping malls, I missed seeing the real Manila, like how the ordinary people leisurely spend their Sunday afternoon enjoying the view and briny (but borderline stinky) air of Manila Bay.

Challenging Korea.

While making my usual late night rounds at youtube, I came across a video ~ an excerpt from an old episode of the now defunct TV show "Extra Challenge" that features Cesar Montano in Korea. I actually watched the whole episode (with Carmina-Zoren, Sunshine-Cesar) a few years back, but this was my favorite part.



There are 3 things I find interesting about this video;

* I was never a fan of Cesar so I didn't know he could look this ehem.. 'cute' in a bahag costume.

* It's probably staged but it looks like he knows his way around the kitchen.

* The way Mrs. Kim talks in tagalog is really funny.. Especially the part where she asked "walang tulog?"... her intonation is so pinoy! I also find it interesting that she's married to a Filipino. It's usually the other way around so her case is quite rare..

Happy watching!

Keeping up.

It's been a week since my last post, so I decided to write some updates about my stay here.. A lot has been happening lately, but somehow I didn't have the creative inspiration to write about them all.

I met my friends last weekend. We were supposed to meet at 8 pm in front of Rembrandt in Quezon City. I arrived around 8:10, but nobody was there yet (I forgot that there's this thing called 'Filipino time').. When everyone arrived, we all went to a Japanese resto called "Jozu". The place is a typical resto which you don't actually pay for the food, but for the dining experience. Let this post serve as a warning to those who are planning to pay the restaurant a visit. The hefty price tag doesn't justify their food, and I would've chosen Yoshinoya in a heartbeat.

Since "Gilligan's Island" is just a couple of meters away, it became our next destination. "Jozu" left us still hungry so we ordered more than the usual "pulutan". Beer was overflowing, and they drank as if beer would no longer be available the next day. I said 'they' cause I stopped with my 3rd bottle. For the longest time, I haven't tasted any form of alcohol, and with an empty stomach, I was a little 'buzzed' after the 3rd one. I ordered bottomless iced tea instead of drinking more beer, which turned out to be quite a hassle especially when two of your newly-single friends are venting about their cute-but-good-for-nothing bf's, and you have to make frequent trips to the restroom. The deafening music was great, but it left us with a bad case of sore throat from shouting just to hear each other. We left the place just before the clock hits 3. They didn't want to end the party just yet (heard some of them say "it's still too early"..), so we went to "Music 21" (a family KTV place) in Timog after that. Everyone was obliged to sing a song or two. When it was my turn to sing, they cajoled me into singing a Korean song. For a second, I thought about singing "So Hot" by Wondergirls which I know they'll like, but the part where I have to rap made me flip the pages quickly. I chose a song by Se7en called "Come back to me" instead. I thought it's a safe song and I know the lyrics by heart.

The song sparked interest in them, and they started throwing questions at me about everything Korean (though mostly, it's about Korean men ^^). The effect of 'Hallyu' is very much evident in them. Most of them showed interest in visiting Korea, learning the Korean language, and meeting Korean men. Collectively, I don't think Korea is that 'great' like what they portray in Koreanovelas. But I admit there are things that I really admire about them... sadly, those are the stuff that'll bore them so I just concentrated on answering their queries about Korean men in general.

It was past sunrise when we went our separate ways. My mom was already out jogging when I came back home. My friends were still surprisingly energetic after a long night, and there I was (I'm gonna use my old phrase again), 'limp like a cookie thrown into a cup of tea'. Just before I slept, they texted about having a night-out again next week, but thinking about crowded places, and suffocating air filled with cigarette smoke, greasy food, and beer, coupled with a hundred different perfume smell makes me wanna fake an illness come Saturday. Somehow, I lack the energy to do those stuff again. I feel so damn old as I can't keep up with my friends. I better listen to my mom and start taking multivitamins or I'd turn into a loner doing stuff that's anything but fun.

Hooked.

I did some digging and found these songs which I'm currently hooked on listening. I think they're pretty great.. Most of the artists are my favorites from way back.. But some I'm just beginning to appreciate. If you have a lot of time to kill, bored or whatever, do check the links. And of course, it'll be great if you let me know what you think!


Black Lab - Dreaming in Color

Aidan Hawken - Fly Straight

Fuel - Leave the Memories Alone

Black Lab - Ghost in Your Mind

Skillet - Rebirthing

Goo Goo Dolls - Slide

Breaking Benjamin - Until the End

Saving Abel - 18 Days

Metal-mouth.

I'm in major pain after a visit to my dentist yesterday. My mouth feels like it was hit by a baseball bat, and I wasn't able to sleep last night without the aid of painkillers. Even if I don't want to, I'm forced to go on a liquid diet for the time being. Like I said before, I belong to those who aren't lucky to have a perfect set of teeth, and needed the help of an orthodontist. This is in fact my second gig with braces (and hopefully the last one) as the first one wasn't so successful.

So I had my braces adjusted, and the archwire changed to the thickest dimension. It's the last level of treatment, and I'll be free from wearing braces soon. Hopefully, after all this pain, mouth sores, and blisters, I'll have that perfect set of teeth I've always dreamed of. It's essential that I wear retainers for a year, and it's something I dread wearing as I know how uncomfortable it is to wear one. But if there's any consolation, I'm just going to wear it at night or some part of the day... Life with braces is not that easy. It requires a lot of patience, discipline and painful visits to the dentist. Soon it'll all be over, and I can't wait till my teeth are finally set free.

The Skies of Puerto Galera.

These photos were taken during a trip to Puerto Galera with my family.. It was raining, and there wasn't much we could do other than to stay dry. The rain stopped momentarily so I went out and took photos. It was just before sunset, and the sky looked dark and gray. I enjoy gazing at the sky on weather like this.. It's a time when I don't have to cringe my eyes to appreciate it's beauty.





Right after twilight, the sky exploded in a deep blue color tinged with a bit of orange. The clouds formed interesting shapes that would leave anyone breathless..




I love taking pictures of the sky more than any other subject. It's nice to be able to capture even half of it's beauty in frame. My favorite time of day is dawn and sunset where the sky is illuminated in a kaleidoscope of beautiful colors.



The sky is something so enchanting that it could lull a hundred different emotions just by looking at it. Seeing the skies of Puerto Galera made braving the stormy weather all worthwhile.

Low Fares To Korea.

I read from a friend's blog that Cebu Pacific is offering super low fares from Manila to Korea. At first I couldn't believe the price that was posted, so I checked the website and found out it was true. I'm planning to go back to Korea sometime in May or June, so as soon as I saw this, I booked a two-way ticket and paid 7,082 pesos. This is much, much cheaper than PAL's special ticket price I found at Rakso that cost $400 plus taxes (roughly around $500 in total). Unfortunately, I found a loophole in their promo that sounded too-good-to-be-true. They wrote down the travel period is from June 1 to September 30. But that's not exactly true. After I spoke with three customer service representatives, I found out that if you travel from June 29 onwards, the promo does not apply anymore. It's best that you book your flight before this date or they're going to charge you twice the price (which isn't so bad considering how much PAL, Korean Air and Asiana is offering).

I visited their website today, and found out they're offering even lower fares than the previous promo. They're slashing 200 peso off from the previous promo price provided that you won't bring any checked-in baggage.

It's a good thing they're offering yet another promo. It's great news for those who weren't able to avail of the previous one at the given period. Just keep in mind that this price is applicable to those who prefer to travel light. Should you choose to bring a checked-in baggage, you will be subjected to pay the applicable fees.

Of Melancholic Train Ride.

Yesterday, I met my sister for some girl bonding time. I'm frequently abroad so we rarely have the chance to hangout. She wanted to show me her new place at Torre Lorenzo, just beside DLSU in Taft. Since it's Saturday, there was major traffic in every road, so I opted to take the train instead. In Korea, taking the train is something I do on a daily basis. But here in the Philippines, I rarely get the opportunity to try it, so I brought my camera along. But when I took the camera out and started clicking, people began to stare at me in disbelief. Taking pictures of the train is something so unusual perhaps that they couldn't help but stare.









The train station is just a stone-throw away from our house, so getting there is never a problem. But since I'm not in any way familiar with the purple and yellow line (I only know the MRT blue line), I had a hard time 'transferring' from Recto station to Dorotheo Jose. I can't seem to find the pathway sis was talking about. But after a couple of phonecalls and missed turns, I was able to find the bridge that connects the two stations. The cold airconditioner inside the train brought relief to my sun burnt skin. As I sat comfortably in the cool chair, sipping the green buko-pandan smoothie I purposely got for her, and despite the obnoxious stares people are throwing at me, I fell into a whirlwind of daydreaming about my Korean life that was temporarily put on hold. I miss Chris, and I miss everything about his country. I miss the pushy ajummas on the subway, and their stiff handbags that always hurt my elbows. I miss how I instinctively breathe through my mouth everytime I sat close to an ajussi that reeks of stale soju and cigarettes. I miss the never-ending giggles of middle-school kids, standing by the door, gossiping about every famous, make-up wearing, lip-synching boyband there is.. I even miss the noisy and overly enthusiastic vendors selling all kinds of things from umbrella, to gloves, even kitchen shears. Somehow, that train ride going to my sister's house felt oddly quiet and empty. When I finally arrived at my stop, I was limp like a cookie thrown into a cup of tea. It's probably the heat, humidity, or the headache-causing text message tones I incessantly heard from the train, I was tired and not in good spirits. And if not for her contagious cheerfulness, the afternoon would've dragged...

Lightning struck twice.

*This is an update from my previous post about my hottie Turkish neighbor.


This is even weirder.. They say lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place, but that's the thing that happened to me today. Nope, I didn't get literally struck by lightning, or I wouldn't be here writing this post. What I'm talking about is the unfortunate "pajama" incident that happened three days ago. For those who haven't read my previous post (though I'm not really sure if there are indeed others who read the stuff I write here..^^), I'm going to give a recap of what happened. I was still sleeping that morning when my Mom, in the middle of rage, woke me up only to tell that our annoying neighbor upstairs got all our clothes wet again with their leaky airconditioner. This thing has been going on for weeks, and it has gotten so much worse lately. My mom who is normally pleasant and calm, becomes difficult and quick-tempered under annoying circumstances.. so instead of letting her deal with the neighbor upstairs, I took charge. Our neighbor who also likes playing loud music all day long turns out to be really hot, looking every inch like Christiano Ronaldo. I tried to sound determined and authoritative more than I use to while talking with him, and I think I was able to prove my point effectively. All the time I was talking, I didn't have the slightest clue that I was still wearing my pajamas.. and I couldn't help but think that was probably the reason why he couldn't stop grinning the whole time.

That incident was a nightmare beyond anything imaginable, and it left me with this strange awkward feeling everytime I get inside the elevator.. As much as possible, I try to stay indoors, avoiding every chance to meet him in the building. Three days have passed, and I totally forgot all about it. The leak stopped, and he probably got himself a headphone.

My mom went to the doctor early today, and with nobody to wake me up for breakfast or lunch, I slept till noon. I was on the phone talking to Chris when a sudden loud knock on the door stopped me mid-sentence. Only scant minutes have passed since I got out from bed, and I was still on my pajamas. I thought about changing to something more decent, but the knock on the door seemed urgent. When I opened the door, it was the Turkish guy. I was so embarrassed when I recognized who it was and what I was wearing to become at least half-way genial. He said he lost his cellphone somewhere, and that he needed to use our phone to call (he doesn't have landline phone yet). When he called his cellphone, it wasn't ringing anymore, and it sucks that I had to be the one to break the news that it's already stolen and probably half way to being sold to someone else. He doesn't know anybody in the building, so despite our not-so-good encounter the other day, he took his chances and came at our door. He was talking about some other things but I couldn't understand most of it because of his strong accent. He apologized again for the leak and the noise, and for not being able to respond to the letter the management sent him.. He said he understood only half of it.. Just before he left, he asked what time do I usually hit the gym.. I was caught off-guard and I didn't know whether I should lie, so I just told him the truth.

Minutes have passed, and the smell of his cologne still lingers in our living room. My mom even noticed it when she came back home from the doctor. I don't know his purpose for asking me that question, and it got me all confused. I know he works out at a different time cause I've never seen him in the gym before. But whatever his purpose is, I don't mind working out with a guy who is not only nice but incredibly hot too!

The Neighbor.

This is weird... I'm not usually the type who quarrels with neighbors so today's a first for me. It all started this morning when the airconditioner of the unit upstairs was leaking badly. The leak was causing us some major inconvenience as it hits directly to the place where we hang our clothes dry. The rain pours non-stop and it's really difficult to dry our clothes in this kind of weather, so you could imagine how frustrating it is everytime the tenant upstairs switches their ancient airconditioner on and gets our clothes wet. My mom brought up this issue to the management weeks ago, however they failed to cooperate with the tenant (for some reason, he's always out whenever they pay them a visit), and the best course of action they did was sending a letter, and so the leak just kept getting worse.

After summoning all my courage, and gathering my thoughts as to how I'm going to prove my point effectively, I stormed my way up to the unit upstairs. I was merely a couple of meters away when I started hearing the loud noise coming from the unit I intended to pay a visit. I stepped back for a minute, trying to recognize the familar music I'm hearing. So it's the song "Me and You" by Cassie, a song that's being rampantly played over and over again.. A song that I like very much, but sickens me to the gut now as I get to hear it repeatedly every single day. When I'm sleeping they're playing it, when I'm having lunch, or taking a shower I hear it. I have nothing against people who like listening to their favorite song on repeat mode, in fact I'm also guilty of that. But I guess these people haven't heard of the word 'headphones' before, and insist on playing using their elaborate speakers. So I've got another reason to complain about.. And so I knocked, refusing to push that little doorbell as I mean business. It must be the loud music, nobody opened the door. I pressed the bell twice, still nobody opened. I already consoled myself that nobody's in there, or they've gone deaf listening to loud music all day long. I was already a few meters away when someone opened the door, and a guy called "Hello?" in a weird accent.

When I turned, I saw a tall, twenty-something (I'm guessing he's around that age judging by the kind of music he listens to), middle eastern-looking guy smiling and looking very similar to Christiano Ronaldo. I know that Ronaldo is a very popular celebrity known to many, but for the sake of those who are not into soccer, I'm going to post a picture below..



I've got a super annoying but super hot neighbor that looks every bit like the hottest man on earth! He kept on smiling at me, and I wondered silently if his jaw ever gets tired. Curiosity struck me, and I just had to ask where he's from. I found out he's from Turkey, and hopefully not related to Ylmaz Bektas (why on earth do I always associate Turkey with Ylmaz?!). I don't know much about Turkey (except for the Osman and Seljuk Turk history I studied back in highschool), so I skipped the standard niceties and got down to enumerating my complaints. It's hard to look at his face as I talk. I stuttered a bit and my sentences sounded incongruent. In the middle of all that, I wondered if he tweezes his perfectly shaped brows the way Ronaldo does..

He sounded sincere when he apologized for the leak and the noise, and promised to do something about it. His initial congeniality had quickly turned into an interesting conversation. I found out that he's a student, and both of us go to the same gym. He lives in Istanbul, and upon hearing that, I fought the urge to ask him whether he knows Ylmaz by any chance (I should stay away from watching too much TV). I politely refused when he offered me something to drink, and said goodbye. I was already inside the elevator when I noticed I was still wearing my pink, hello kitty pajamas! Talk about self-humiliation to the highest degree.. ""

Wake-up call.

Two years ago, I received this pink tank top as a birthday gift from my grandmother. Since I'm not the type who wears tank tops, I kept it buried under my closet. Years have passed and I totally forgot all about it. While I was cleaning my room today, I found it hidden among the pile of clothes I'm planning to throw away. Those are the clothes I'm not comfortable wearing anymore (after I gained the extra pounds). I wasn't at ease when I saw how small the tank top is (my previous size), and how I'm not gonna be able to wear it anymore. Ok, I'm not really gonna wear it, I just wanna know that it still fits.. but the sad part is, it doesn't.

Eversince I adapted my mothers new found love for exercise, I've been tracing hard the tiny little progress I've made, but found none.. I sweated bullets each time I was at the oval, running till I couldn't breathe anymore. Every bit of my body is strained and sore from sheer physical exhaustion when I'm running like crazy. But even with all these effort, I only lost 1 lb. I don't really consider losing a pound much of a progress, cause it's as simple as skipping lunch for some. I don't even want to mention that I'm 3 shades darker now, even if I consumed one whole bottle of Nivea Sun Spray. This is really depressing. I'm beginning to think I'm gonna be trapped in this stupid body forever.

While I was growing up, I never had any problems with my weight. I only started to get conscious about it when I was 23 years old. I was 124 lbs and at my heaviest. I was living in my own apartment, just beside McDonald's, and my daily diet of big mac's, coke, and french fries (I swear it's the only thing I eat every single day for four months) took a toll on my weight.. I felt I was too fat and got really depressed. So I went to the gym for the first time, lifted weights, took up boxing, and did a lot of cardio. To speed up my weight loss, I was taking only 500 calories a day. Everyone was shocked when I lost 30 lbs in a month. I was down to 96 lbs... At 5'5, 96 lbs seems to be way too thin (though not in Korean standards) so my parents were really worried.. But I found out the hard way that it wasn't healthy.. I got hospitalized a lot that year due to malnutrition, electrolyte imbalance, dehydration, and worse my heart wasn't functioning properly. After I learned the dangers of losing too much weight in a short amount of time.. I took care of my health and was able to maintain my ideal weight of 110 lbs. However, when I was 24, I discovered I'm suffering from an endocrine dysfunction that was messing up with my hormones, and that the battle of the bulge started to become infinitely critical. I think I have to lose 30 lbs now to reach my ideal weight. If only I could resurrect my old determination back, I could have a brand new me in a month's time (without endangering myself that is).

Let this old tank top be my wake-up call and get me motivated. I need to work harder to be able to lose weight. I'm thinking about throwing the scale cause it only makes me lose focus and feel depressed. I can't bear to have any kind of distraction right now.. I recognize that there is a problem and I'm doing something about it. Too much complacency and optimism is always a bad thing...

No-shoe Policy.

There are many reasons why shoes are removed before entering a temple. Temples are a sacred place, and removing shoes is a sign of respect. It also shows that a person is humble. Leaving shoes outside is symbolic of leaving wordly stuff so that the person can concentrate on spiritual things. Because shoes can be dirty, taking them off is a sign of purification inside the temple. This is also true for Muslims when they visit a mosque. For some of these reasons, many Asian cultures consider it polite to take off shoes inside the home too.

In our house, we don't wear our shoes inside. As kids, we were taught by our parents that the outside and inside of the house are two different worlds separated by a door. But I know for a fact that not all household here in the Philippines practice this.. Whenever I visit a house for the first time, I politely ask whether I should remove my shoes or not. Most of the time, they would say it's ok not to remove it. But since I'm not used to wearing shoes inside, I get really uncomfortable so as much as possible, I only stay in one place. When it's my friend's turn to visit our house, they willingly oblige to the no-shoe policy. The line-up of shoes just outside our door (like in the picture above) reminds them to take off their shoes before entering. But sometimes, there are quite a few insensitive ones who are oblivious to the pile of shoes outside our door. What I do is offer them my puffy indoor slippers, and if that won't work, I just wait till they leave and scrub the floor with Lysol and Bleach.

I just can't imagine how others could bear wearing their shoes inside. I don't need to emphasize how dirty shoes can be. They could come from hospitals, public restrooms, or alleys covered in mud, spit, vomit, and all the germs, bacteria, and viruses imaginable. We clearly don't want that inside our house. Besides, being barefoot is the most comfortable way to walk around the house!

Sickening Summer.

It's 3 am in Manila, and the temperature tips at 29 degrees celsius. It was mildly drizzling this afternoon, and I steadily hoped it would quench the scorching, blistering summer heat. But the rain fell short and it didn't cool the air. It just made it even more unbearably humid.

Even with this temperature, I managed to go jogging with my mom today. She recently made a pact with herself to start being more active, and get involved in the labyrinth world of fitness and exercise. But she doesn't want to do it alone, so for the last couple of days, she has been pestering me to go jogging with her. With a hint of petulance in my voice, I agreed to accompany her to the sports complex . Who could blame me? Sweating and exercise with this temperature can be exceedingly trying. The heat drains out all the energy and motivation in me. At first I thought it was just an all out, full blown, spur of the moment thing-y that she'll get over in a few days. But I guess I was wrong. She appears to be decided, even going on a frantic shopping for sweatpants and running shoes the other day. Strangely, she refuses to go to the gym with me. She thinks it'll just bore her to death..

Today's the start of what seems to be an exhausting routine in the making. I have no other choice but to go with my mom.. I can't just let her jog by herself. It was close to 6 pm when we started our first round at the oval. I did 5 rounds before I slumped lifelessly at the grass-covered ground. At age 57, I didn't expect that my mom could keep up with me. She was only able to half jog/half walk 2 rounds before she sat down and joined me. We did a couple more laps after that, taking more rest that necessary. It had been considerably more difficult that what she expected, so I was caught a little off-guard when she said she wanted to do it again tomorrow.

There's no need to emphasize how drained I was from the run when we got home.. I was resting infront of the computer reading emails when all of a sudden, my nose got runny so I reached for the box of tissue. I was so focused on whatever I'm doing that I didn't realize my nose was already bleeding. Blood was steadily dropping from my nose, and seeing the blood all over my shirt freaked me out a bit. I've had nosebleeds before but never to this extent. I did the standard pinching of the nose and tilting the head, then I laid down on the bed before I called my mom. I could taste the blood in my mouth and that sickened me all the more. She brought an ice pack which she applied to my head and neck, and that significantly helped stop the bleeding. It's probably the heat, and it shouldn't be any cause of worry, but I blame the usual koreanovelas I see on TV for making me freak out that much.

Missing Oppa.

Chris is down with a bad case of flu. We talked over the phone yesterday.. he said he's so sick that he couldn't get out of bed. In times like this, I regret not being there for him. He rarely gets sick, but when he does, it's quite serious and he needs someone who'll take care of him.

I miss him terribly, and I know he misses me just as much. When we talked, he said he wants me to 'come home' soon. I want to see him too, but I'm doing my best to stop myself from jumping on the next plane back to Korea. I think it's too soon and I've got a lot of things to accomplish first.

We know for a fact that we couldn't stand being away from each other, so every separation, every goodbye is agonizing. The day before I departed from Korea, Chris took me out on a date. We first went to a Gamjatang restaurant. He didn't eat much and he kept on giving me the meat. Then we went to see "The Reader". The story was good, but I wasn't into it. We went to a wine bar after that.. he ordered this fancy wine which I didn't approve of. But he said it's a special day so we shouldn't think about the price.. We stayed in a hotel that night. We played "S-O-S" (a game that was famous during my grade school days), we drank, wrestled each other, and I even made him wear a headband (he didn't allow me to put make up on his face). But more importantly, he talked about his feelings, how much he loves me... I've never heard more " I Love Yous" in one night in my entire life!

On my departure day, my flight was delayed so we get to spend more time at the airport. While waiting for my flight, he scribbled something on a piece of paper. When he gave it to me, he asked me not to read it till I'm inside the plane. He hugged me and kissed me a couple of times before he led me to the immigration door. He was crying a little, and that made me extremely sad. When I was on the plane, I read his letter and I couldn't help crying.. He wrote how much he loves me, and that he couldn't live without me. But the thing that made me cry was the fact that he was saying sorry if he ever did something that made me feel sad and unhappy.

I really miss him.. I miss the revolting smell of his ginseng tea... I miss the sound of his alarm... I miss his noisy fridge, and his never ending phone calls. I miss his little notes, and the way he makes my tea... I miss the fact that he knows everything, and has an answer for all my idiotic questions. Behind his back, I would try to google it, and I even miss how upset I become cause he's always right. I miss his standard three calls a day while he's at work, and the way he carries my bag whenever we go out. I miss everything about him, and I couldn't wait till I finally see him.

In Memoriam.

It's my father's 2nd death anniversary today, April 9th. I can't believe two years have passed since he was taken away from us. The familiar pain is still there, and I wonder if it will ever go away. My father's passing is by far the most horrific, emotionally draining, personally devastating event I have ever experienced. I can't even begin to imagine how painful and how broken I was at that time. In my disillusioned, angry, and rebellious state of mind, I searched for answers and for something to alleviate the pain. His death at age 57 was all too sudden. We weren't prepared, although I doubt if someone could ever be prepared for such a thing. As a way to cope with things, I started an online journal and I began to write some of my past experiences while I tried to make sense of them all. I discovered that it's an emotionally cleansing, and inspirationally enriching outlet. I found solitude and healing in writing. It has become my ideal escape to things I'm not yet ready to tackle, and there are so many of them. Whenever I talk about my Dad, I still have that tendency to mope, but I didn't intend to write a sad post so enough of those.

We visited my father's grave today.. He was laid to rest at Himlayang Pilipino together with my grandparents. When I was young, I really enjoyed visiting Himlayan. It was a time I get to play with my cousins and eat as much ice cream as I want to. For some reason, my father likes buying Magnolia Ice cream whenever we go there. He wanted to make it as fun as possible for us so we wouldn't get tired of visiting there. I took some pictures at Himlayan today. The place still brings back a lot of good, sad, and bitter memories.














Some interesting facts about my father;

* He started driving at age 14. When his mother was about to give birth, nobody was there to drive her to the hospital. My father volunteered and brought her to the hospital just in time.

* He cooks the best "pinakbet" sans the 'bagoong' (he hates the funky smell of it^^).

* He reads the newspaper every single day from age 28.. not a day missed.

* He feels claustrophobic inside a movie theatre.

* He only listened to classical music.

* He could basically fix anything, so everyone in his family called him "jack of all trades"...

* He cooks the best fried chicken ever.

* He was a soccer player back in high school at Don Bosco. He was very proud that he led his team to the championship game in China. Unfortunately, they lost. T.T

Sony PSP.

I deliberated really hard before I bought my new Sony PSP. It doesn't come cheap so I had to think it over and over.. I'm actually saving up for a Dslr, and my new PSP took a huge chunk off my measly savings.. But I'm not complaining, cause I'm having a really good time playing it.

I originally wanted to buy a Nintendo DS Lite cause I've heard better reviews about the product. But after I tried using it, the stylus thing-y didn't work for me.. I ended up not buying it, eventhough it was on sale at Auction at a price cheaper than a week's worth of groceries. Here in the Philippines, I've been using an old Nokia N Series that acts as a PDA and TV Phone. I love everything about this phone, but with a terrible stroke of bad luck, I dropped the stylus pen one night, and it was hell using it from then on. I don't wanna suffer the same fate, so as much as possible, I stay away from anything stylus..

In two weeks time, I managed to try 50 different games already. But apart from all those new games sprouting on the net, readly available to be downloaded, I'm still drawn mostly to old school games. Here's my top three.

1. Most Wanted 5-1-0* This is the latest addition to Need for Speed series of racing games.

2. Fight Night* This boxing game lets me play Manny Pacquiao character against every famous champ in boxing history. I get a kick whenever I hear the crowd shouts "Mah-nee" in perfect unison..^^

3. Tekken* This is my all time favorite game. I've been playing this ever since we had our first Playstation back in 2003. My favorite character of course is Hwoarang.. cause he's Korean. ^^

Plans.

This summer, I'm looking forward to accomplishing two things.

* First - I want to enrol in a photography class. I like taking pictures of places so whenever I go out of the house, I make it a point to always bring my camera with me... without it, I feel crippled. It's really old so I'm expecting that it's going to wheeze it's final breath very soon. But I'm not going to buy a new one just yet... not till the service center proclaims it broken beyond repair. ^^ If price is not an issue, a Nikon dslr would be the perfect replacement. But before I subject myself into the expensive and complicated world of dslrs and lenses, I want to learn how to take better pictures first.

* Second - I've been thinking about getting a license for the longest time! I'm 27 and I still don't have a license. I'm not getting my own car anytime soon, so what's the point? The truth is, I really don't know. I just think, getting a driver's license is an important rite of passage, and I don't want to be missing out on anything. An ex-bf first taught me how to drive, and that was 9 years ago. At age 18, I never expected a day will come that I get to be in front of the wheel. I did everything only for the sake of educating myself and feeding my curiosity. One day, my bf got so drunk that he passed out. With no license or formal education in driving, and no one to give me directions, I nervously drove for the first time from Ortigas area to Q.C. I tried my best to remember everything he taught me (he only taught me for two days so there wasn't a lot to remember).. I was so freaked out then that my hands were shaking non-stop and I didn't go more than 30 kph. Up to now, I still don't know how I was able to drive my ex-bf home in one piece.^^

Arrival.

It has been a week since I arrived in Manila. As soon as the plane landed, I thought about jumping on the next plane going back to Korea. The weather is unbelievably hot and humid that every minute feels like pure torture. I almost forgot that it's the 'summer season' here in the Philippines, and 29 degrees at 2 am is just as normal as a sudden drizzle in a very, very sunny day. My family was at the airport to pick me up.. The flight was delayed and everyone grew hungry from waiting, so we went looking for a restaurant at 3 am. We couldn't find a place near the airport so we drove towards Eastwood to "Something Fishy" for some 'wee-hour grub'. There's nothing extraordinary about the food there, but buffets like that has it's charm. In the middle of munching 'kakanin', tapsilog, and lumpia (it's a very weird combo, I know) I told them stuff about Korea like places I've been, things I saw, and people I've met. Then we talked about things that happened here in the Philippines while I'm away. We stayed at the restaurant chatting non-stop till the call-center employees started lining up for their early morning food fix and they started begging for extra chairs. When we arrived home, my mom served buko salad and ube cake from Goldilocks. I was already full but the ube cake made my mouth water.. It was almost sunrise when I went to my room. But no matter how tired I was, I couldn't sleep that day. Something's off with my old room.. I didn't feel comfortable at all. I'm missing Chris a lot, and I thought I needed some sort of distraction. So I kept myself busy doing these...



* From a very loud purple yam color, I had the walls of my room painted in a girly lilac tone. I originally wanted something different like lemon lime or tangerine, but my mom wanted a lighter tone. Both of us agreed with lilac..

* I bought new sheets, pillows, covers, and curtains that match the lilac walls.

* I got myself a sony PSP.

* I had my old monitor changed to an 18.5 LCD screen which I got at Gilmore's at a very cheap price. The old one is taking up too much space in my room.. ^^

* I went to a comedy bar with my friends, and Ethel Booba picked me (despite my very obvious resistance) as a stage contestant for some lousy game. It was extremely embarrassing.

* I enrolled in a gym, but I haven't tried working out yet.

* I'm taking care of a new dog named Akira.

Today is officially the start of Holy Week, so I'm putting some of my plans on hold. My mom is thinking about going on a trip somewhere this Holy Week, so it's one of the things I'm looking forward to.